I downloaded and started filling out the Samaritan's Purse application. But the thing with my two plans for the future (SP and Journeyman) is that I just don't feel peaceful about either of them. I haven't been able to decide if it was nervousness on my part or God trying to get through to me.
Today someone called the church, and asked me what my next step is. I rattled off my two choices, and it hit me that this whole thing is very much in my control.
Which is exactly where it shouldn't be.
So I got out my notebook to pray (because my verbal mind prayers tend to ramble), and after a couple minutes I had this clear sense of God telling me to wait. So I'm not going to work on either application until God tells me differently.
Probably some of you will freak out, and I know my dad won't be pleased. But if I learned in Senegal to trust God, well, I think I need to trust God. I don't want to live by the false adage "God helps those who help themselves." No! God helps those who seek him and him alone.
So I'm just going to go ahead with the things I know God wants me to do: lead a Bible study, mentor younger girls, visit homebound church members. Those things don't pay anything, and I think that is part of how God is growing me. Will I follow him if it means not making any money? I guess I'm about to find out.
I think that God will put a money-making job in front of me at some point. But that's the thing. I was trying to decide my future. I need to step back and let God do that for me. Every other job I've ever had was handed to me in such a way that it was obviously God setting it up for me. Why would I want to ruin that track record?
Tricia, I am just playing Devil's advocate here, I don't have any problem with you waiting for God to decide for you. But: (Always be suspicious when someone says "But")
ReplyDeleteConsider that God has given us intellect and free will, and that He did that for reasons. One was so that we could choose Him. I think another was so that we would use our intellect to make good choices and plans. Waiting for God to make a decision for us is kind of a cop-out. He may well choose not to decide for you, and expect you to make your own decision. He may think (yeah, I know God does not think like we do. still...) that He has put enough stuff into your life already that you can make some decisions about what you want to do and then start preparing for it.
""God helps those who help themselves." No! God helps those who seek him and him alone." This is true, but God also gives tools and experiences and skills to those who seek Him alone so that they CAN help themselves.
Did I make you think?