Well, after bemoaning the sad state of my spiritual life on this blog just a couple hours ago, I finally had enough pushing me to do something about it. Usually stating my failures in a public(ish) forum will do the trick.
So I sat down and wrote out a really long prayer, apologizing for being a slacker, and praising God for how awesome and patient and forgiving He is. And then I actually took time to pray through some of the things that have been on my mind, concerning the past and the future and life.
It's funny how talking to God really does give you peace and rest. I feel better than I have in weeks. It's funny how I always forget this consequence. Always I feel better after spending time with God, but always I take forever to actually do it. Few things demonstrate my struggle between flesh and spirit than my avoidance of/seeking after time with God.
Then I read the second chapter of 1 Corinthians, and even though I hadn't really been thinking about my talk on Sunday, it just completely relaxed me and told me what I needed to hear. Because although I appreciate people telling me I'll do great (thanks, Tommy!), that really does nothing to help me. I've been fed those lies all my life, but the truth is, I will just not be great at some things. And that's okay.
I may stutter and squawk on Sunday. Doesn't matter. I just have to do it, because my job on this earth is to glorify God, and whether I do that with a steady voice or not is pretty inconsequential. So thanks, God, for pointing out Paul as my public speaking role model!
When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power.
1 Corinthians 2:1-5
Wonderful thoughts throughout. You don't have to be brilliant on Sunday. Just be you. God is your creator and your sustainer. God is able. You are not.
ReplyDeleteBill