Doctor Who S2XMAS "The Christmas Invasion"

In context, this is a remarkable episode.  Unfortunately, I forced my brother to watch it as his first ever Doctor Who story, and it was less than impressive to him.  Thankfully I reeled him in with other episodes, but lesson learned--don't start someone in the Whoverse with a fanservice episode devoted to helping us cope with the loss of Nine and the beginning of Ten.

Ten!  He looks like such a baby at the start of his journey.  His hair doesn't even stand up right.  So adorable. 

But the real hero of this story is RTD, the writer of Doctor Who (seasons 1-4).  He makes Rose into the audience, hurt that Nine is gone and dubious that anyone could ever take his place.  She, and we, wonder if Ten is the same man with a different face, or is he someone else entirely?  Can we trust him? 

I think one of the Doctor's biggest faults is this:  he didn't tell Rose about regeneration.  He keeps that secret to himself, and can you imagine Rose's trauma?  At the end of season 1, she thinks her beloved Doctor is dying.  Dying!  And has no reason to think otherwise.  Then suddenly light shoots from him hands and face, and he's someone else!  Before she can get any solid evidence, he's unconscious, leaving her to sort through everything on her own.

As if that weren't enough for Rose to deal with, the Earth is being taken over by aliens.  This is one of my favorite Rose episodes.  It so obviously shows how she developed last season and hints at how she will continue to grow in the second.  Throughout much of season 1, she relied on the Doctor to take care of her.  Rightfully so for the most part, because she knows nothing of alien politics or of fighting.  She stepped up in the finale and wiped out the Daleks, but honestly, even with that, I think she would have regressed to letting the Doctor take care of things for her except for one important fact:  he can't.

Isn't that so true?  We mostly don't grow until we're forced to.  And Rose does such a great, terrible job.  When she stands before the invading army and shakily throws every bit of alien knowledge at them, it doesn't work.  She doesn't save the world.  But she tries.  This is what I love about Rose.  She gets in situations hopelessly over her head, but she doesn't break down.  She stands.  She exemplifies courage so wonderfully--that courage isn't being unafraid, but it is acting despite fear.

Okay, enough fangirling about Rose.  There's also Mickey and Jackie!  They've grown on me throughout this rewatch.  I especially love Jackie interacting with the Doctor, rambling off all the ways she can help him until he just yells at her to shut up, and then she gets offended, but helps him anyway.

And the Doctor.  I read somewhere how season 1 was the story of the Doctor and Rose falling in love, and season 2 is the story of them being in love.  It's quite obvious now that I've seen them several times.  Throughout season 1, there is always a push-pull between the two of them.  There are innuendos (Nine saying he can "dance" and Rose asking him to "dance" with her).  But until she saves his life, then he returns the favor by kissing her and saving hers, it's not official.

While Rose is dealing with "is this my Doctor?" Ten has all those memories.  When Rose begs his unconscious body to save her, he immediately sits up and saves the day.  When Rose is unsuccessfully negotiating with the aliens, Ten strolls out of the TARDIS, throws a wink Rose's way, and swashbucklingly saves the day.  Like he does.

And at the end, when Rose is finally starting to see that he is the same Doctor, though happier and more trusting, they cuddle up together, pointing at the stars, choosing their next adventure.

Oh, and Christmas dinner?  Remember when Nine angrily told Rose that she could either eat with her family or go with him?  She had to choose one or the other, and no way was he stooping to hanging out with family.  Now Ten joins in the fun, eating and laughing and partying with the in-laws.  As is constantly referenced in the show and in fandom, Rose changed the Doctor.  She met a broken, hurting man and loved him (first non-romantically, which I think is an important distinction).  She helped him grow, trust, and enjoy life again. 

That is why I ship Rose/Doctor.

All this, and I didn't really mention the plot.  It's fun!  The return of Harriet Jones is fantastically fun.  And I love, love, love how Ten switches from joy to judgment when he realizes she had Torchwood destroy the retreating alien ship.  He destroys her career.  And the great thing is, I completely understand both of their actions.  Harriet had to shoot the ship.  Ten had to punish her.  I agree with them both, even though they disagree.  RTD is so fantastic at writing moral dilemmas.

On to the honeymoon stage, where Rose and Ten frolic through fields of alien adventures, giggle at each other, and are overall nauseatingly adorable.  I love it.

Hello, Ten.

Tattoos

I have sort of wanted to get a tattoo for several years now.  And for some reason, this desire has been more pressing lately.  I mean, not pressing like I have to do it or I'll die.  But I want it more.

I mentioned this at the Monahan's last night, and there was wide-spread confusion.  Abby asked me not to make any decisions rashly.  Oh, Abby.  I rarely make decisions rashly (says the girl who decided to move to Texas three days into her first visit to Texas).  But for real, I don't.  I think and think and think about something, and then all of a sudden, I choose.  So it looks abrupt from the outside, but in actuality, I mostly operate on "let me think for five months, and I'll get back to you."

Anyway.  Tattoos.  I've long heard about Leviticus 19:28's message not to cut the dead or put marks upon yourself.  I used to be the sort of person who would tell people considering tattoos that the Bible explicitly forbid it, and I would say that with a condescending smirk. 

Ever since taking my Bible Study class, I've learned the importance of context.  And it makes sense to me that this particular law might be contextual.  Because I don't want to rush into any permanent decisions without making sure I have an opinion on this matter, I've been looking up stuff about Christian outlooks on tattoos.  So far the websites I've seen condemning tattoos were surprisingly over-the-top judgemental, and the website I found allowing tattoos talked about God telling his people to avoid anything that smelt of paganism.  Pagan neighbors mark themselves up?  Don't do it.  Stand apart. 

Taken from ancient context into present day, the logical question is:  does having a tattoo look like paganism?  Will having a tattoo make someone assume I do not follow Jesus?

And....I don't think so?  Mileage may vary, but I don't think tattoos are associated with the occult or anything.

So I've come to the decision that getting a tattoo is okay.  But why would I want one?

I like the idea of permanence.  I'd like to believe that I will always love and serve God, but honestly I have no idea what will happen in my life and how I will react to it.  I like the idea that there will be a mark on my body that could remind me of God, even when I don't want it to.  I love Proverbs 3:3, "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."  I know that the verse is metaphorical, but I love the idea of some physical reminder of my devotion to God (like ancient Jews would wear tassels or bind Scripture to their forehead).

I want to be reminded that I serve God even when I don't want to serve God.

For a long time I wanted to get a name of God tattooed in Hebrew or Greek.  But then that felt weird, like I was branding myself God.  I thought of a word like "humility" or something, but I didn't want to label myself with something that might not hold as much weight in 20 or 30 years.

So lately I've been thinking of getting something to symbolize the Trinity.  I want to be reminded of all three aspects of God.  I want to be reminded of God himself, always with me.  I found out about the Triquetra, and I really love it.  It's beautiful.  It's symbolic.  It's got roots in history.

 

I dunno.  I like the idea of having this on my wrist.  Somewhere I could cover it with sleeves or a big bracelet if I end up working overseas in a country that frowns on tattoos.  I don't think I'll get it any time soon, if I do decide to get it at all.

So my question is: what are your thoughts?  Do you think tattooing is always wrong?  Do you think there are benefits to tattooing?  Do you not care at all?

I don't want to make this decision in isolation.  That's what Christian community is for, right?

Embarrassment

I told Wendy about my high school blog that is now a book (lulu.com).  I added that reading it was cracking me up, because the very first entry is, "I WANT A HUSBAND" and the second is, "I WANT BABIES."  This is when I was a junior in high school, before I took sociology classes and before a friend described childbirth in excruciating detail.

Wendy looked at me with sad eyes and asked, "Was it embarrassing?"

"Oh my gosh, yes!"  I answered emphatically.

"I always wondered why you wrote stuff like that.  I felt bad for you."

"Wait, what?  I'm not embarrassed that I wrote it.  I'm embarrassed that I was like that."

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about!  We all have thoughts like that at some time or another."

"So we agree that it is embarrassing, but for totally different reasons?"

The thing is, I have a much wider scope of things that are acceptable to share.  While I still hide parts of my brain from my blog (and I did then, too, which is even more disturbing), I'm mostly in favor of being ridiculously, hilariously honest.  I think relationships and community at large would be better, or at least more entertaining, if we all shared our insecurities, desires, and weird thoughts.

The main topic I avoid on blogs are negative thoughts about specific people.  I once wrote a blog complaining about my friends, and they called me out on it, and I learned my lesson.  Airing complaints online is the worst thing ever.  But myself?  Open book.  Mostly.

Doctor Who S1E13 "The Parting of the Ways"

This is an EXCELLENT finale.  Simple plot, deaths, regenerations, ultimate cosmic power (but without the evilness of Jafar).

The question for the Doctor this episode is put to him by the Dalek Emperor:  Coward or Killer?  Have I mentioned how much I love moral quandaries?  Should he kill a planet of humans in the process of forever wiping out the Daleks?  Or should he allow them to live just long enough to be killed by and experimentally used to create more Daleks?

Not a choice I'd like to make, but I love seeing the Doctor wrestle with it.

Oh, and also?  I'd forgotten how creepy it is, the new race of Daleks being spawned from one survivor of the Time War who kidnapped human refugees and unwanteds to tear apart and create a new race of Daleks.  *shiver*  Does that mean all the Daleks in New Who are technically human/Dalek hybrids?  Even though they say the idea is blasphemous  (therefore showing their humanity).

Luckily, we get Deux Ex Rose!  AND I LOVE IT.

Okay, so the scene where the Doctor tricks Rose into entering the TARDIS, then runs out and sends her back to Earth on a one-way ticket?  All the emotions.  I get why he did it, and this is one of the things I love about the Doctor that other people seem to hate.  Yes, he takes away human agency.  But in the narrative, that's not construed as a good thing!  Rose's agency rises to the occasion, but I'm talking about the Doctor here.  I love that he is flawed and selfish, that he thinks he can control other people's deaths and lives.  It makes him very interesting.  Of course, in this instance, Rose fights back....later, Donna won't be so lucky.

And let's mention Jack here, yeah?  Poor Jack.  The Doctor sends Rose to safety, then is like, "Okay, go die by the Dalek's hands, Jack!"  Jack knows it, knows he's second best, and he trusts the Doctor anyway.  But later the TARDIS leaves without him, and he's all alone!  My poor baby!  Left to start your own TV show.  But I love his unconditional love and trust.  Because after all of that, and the Doctor will continue to shun him and ignore him, Jack runs after him and joins in the fight and adventure.



Now Rose.  Oh, Rose!  I over-empathize with you, I know.  You were a girl living an ordinary monotonous life, and then the Doctor came and you had adventures and were a hero and you helped people.  Then in a moment of selfish sacrifice, the Doctor condemns you back to a life of monotony.  And what do you say?  The best speech ever, natch.

"But it was... it was a better life. And I -- I don't mean all the traveling and... seeing aliens and spaceships and things -- that don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know, he showed you too. That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away, and I just can't --"

 Then like the boss she is, she tears apart the TARDIS, stares into its heart, returns to the Doctor 200,000 years in the future, and turns the Daleks to dust.  BAMF.

Everything comes with a price, though, and Time Lord knowledge is not meant to be in human's heads.  Although how wonderful, for one moment, that Rose understands the turmoil and information overload that constantly flows through the Doctor's mind.  In that understanding, Nine utters the cheesiest, most wonderful line, "You need a Doctor," and kisses her.  He takes the Time Vortex into himself, thereby starting the regeneration process.

Ten is my favorite Doctor.  He's emotional, funny, and gosh darn cute.  But it's true what they say on tumblr: you never forget your first Doctor.  And now, at the parting of the ways, I am very sad to see Nine go.  His snark, his rage, his goofy grin--I love Nine.  I'm so glad Netflix is basically a TARDIS and I can go back in time and rewatch his season as many times as I want.

Doctor Who S2E03 "School Reunion"

Evil Giles!  There are a lot of great things about this episode, but Evil Giles is probably the best.  Of course, that might only apply if you are a huge Buffy nerd.  The man who stuttered and compulsively wiped his glasses clean now eats school children and is menacingly dressed in a sharp suit and slicked back hair. 

I like the mythology of Evil Giles' alien race--the Krillitane are evolution personified.  Whenever they take over another species, they (somehow) merge the two life forms into a newer, stronger, better being.  They constantly change the way they look.  The fact that their most evolved form is Evil Giles is....perfect.

But that's not all of the awesome!  We are also introduced (re-introduced, if you are a Classic Who fan) to Sarah Jane and the Doctor's only robotic dog K-9!  And they are awesome!  Whenever I get around to watching some Classic Who, I think I'll start when Sarah Jane was in the show.

The return of a past companion begins the season-long exploration of the Doctor/companion relationship.  Namely, it sucks.  Okay, so the real message is that traveling with the Doctor is worth all the danger and heartache.  But there are an awful lot of possibilities for this whole thing to go pear-shaped.

We now know that the Doctor is safe from danger.  When he dies, he regenerates.  It can be sad, but ultimately, he is the same man.  (Side note from the future:  this is why I don't find Moffat's season arcs compelling.  In both seasons 5 and 6, he put the Doctor's life at risk.  But since we know he cannot die, I have no emotional stake in the plot.  On the contrary, RTD most frequently puts someone else in danger come finale time, and I legitimately worry for their safety.)

Okay, anyway.  We know the Doctor will stick around, but we also know he is 900 years old.  In "School Hard" we learn that he has had many companions before Rose entered his life.  Worse still, we learn that the way they part might not always be sunshine and daisies.  He left Sarah Jane and never came back!  That is awful.  The Doctor is a selfish bastard, redux.  To spare himself the pain of saying goodbye, he just dropped a dear friend by the wayside with no warning or explanation.

It's a testament to how awesome he is that Sarah Jane forgives him.  And that is a testament to Sarah Jane as well, I suppose.

This new facet of the Doctor/companion relationship is mostly seen from Rose's perspective in this episode.  At first she is jealous of Sarah Jane, and likewise, Sarah Jane is jealous of Rose.  But they quickly realize that they have more in common with each other than with the Doctor, and the scene in which they are mocking him ("I'm like, do you two need some time alone?") is the best!  His face when he realizes they are no longer fighting over him but are ganging up on him....oh, Time Lord.  You're not the studly stud you think are.

This is one of my favorite things about RTD--the way he writes women.  It would be so easy to maintain the jealousy, and get laughs solely from that.  But lets be honest, that's incredibly stereotypical and demeaning of women.  Instead of dwelling in the land of pettiness, he writes these two strong female leads as...two strong female leads!  They are secure enough in their individual relationships with the Doctor that they don't have to put each other down.  So nice to see that.

So even though the Doctor assures Rose that he won't leave her like he did the others, that he won't forget her or never talk about her--Rose now knows that there is more to her Doctor than previously understood.  And we the viewers are now on watch.  Doctor/Rose can't end happily.  So what version of horrible will they endure?

(The shipper in me feels compelled to point out that even though they do end up separated, the Doctor keeps his word.  He consistently brings up Rose after she is gone, letting future companions know about her.  In fact, his habit of comparing companions to Rose is what really drags season 3 and breaks Martha's heart.  He loved Rose.  He mourned her when he was gone in a way we are led to believe had never happened before.)

I Wrote a Book! Kind Of

I found the best website in the world! Lulu.com is a site for would-be writers. I think the endgame is for people who want to publish actual books, but you can upload any PDF file you want (between 80 and 780 pages) and get it printed! In either paperback or hardback! And you design your own cover, and it's a real book! Needless to say, I am going to print all my blogs and put them on my shelf and not let anyone read them because my thoughts used to be really embarrassing. Used to? Whatever. Because I write a lot a lot, I had to print sections of my blog at a time. First up--high school! I started writing in xanga my junior year, so I printed from February 2005-August 2006. I waited to see if it would turn out as awesome as I wanted before ordering more. I got it today! And it IS awesome! It was only $12, so next time I might spring for hardback. I know many of you are writers in some form or another. If you have any desire to own a pretty physical copy of them, try it out!

Preparing for Turkey

Two weeks from today I will be in Turkey!  I can't wait to see one of my very dearest friends, to hang out with her, to re-experience the awesomeness of Istanbul, to bring her gifts, to take pictures and videos, and see what she's doing in her new overseas life.

I asked people from church to fill in some of Stephanie's needs, and....they did.  Quite well.  Now I have boxes of things to take in my suitcase (one suitcase! KLM only allows one suitcase!  what?) and I've hit that wall.  The one where instead of just doing something, you avoid it because it looks hard.

Which is rubbish, because I love packing!  I love finding nooks and crannies to shove things, and the feeling I get when I look at a suitcase crammed to the gills and clocking in at just under 50 lbs?  Well, it's pretty embarrassing how happy I am at that moment.

But looking ahead to future happiness rarely helps me start something that looks hard.  So I'll probably keep putting it off.

But I'm so grateful to everyone who donated their time and money in buying my friend things!  I'm so excited to see her face when I say, "This is for you.  And this!  And this and this and this!"

Maybe I can be Santa when I grow up.  That seems like a pretty awesome job.

More Reasons I Love My Cat

Last night when I walked out of my bathroom, I noticed Rory crouched behind my tall laundry basket.  We stood there, staring each other down, when suddenly he leapt as if to land on top of it.  Which, of course, is impossible because there's no top.  When he got high enough to realize that, he did a kind of twisty mid-air freakout, and successfully flung himself to the other side.  Right by my feet.  The whole thing happened super quickly, and he'd never done that before.  I shrieked in surprise and then devolved into hysterical laughter.

All I could imagine was Paris and Doyle in Gilmore Girls, surprise attacking each other with krav maga. 

By the time I went to bed, Rory was no where to be found.  I figured he'd curled up in the living room, so I settled into bed with my Dorothy Sayers book.  Several minutes later, a lump in the bed moved!  I jumped, then pressed on the lump to make it go away.  It was squishy!  I lifted my comforter, and somewhere around my knee level, two shining eyes stared back.  I covered him back up, and we went to sleep.

When I woke up, he was on top of the covers, curled against my back.  I flipped over and opened my eyes.  He immediately crouch-walked closer to my face and pawed at the covers until I brought a hand out to pet him.  Then he settled into a cat-trance and purred loudly in my ear as I drifted back to sleep.

Best cat ever.

New Blog!

Haha, I know, another one!?  I've got this, my personal blog.  And my librarian book blog.  And my Joss Whedon blog (which I....haven't done anything for in a very long time.  Oops.)  But I cannot stop myself!

I'm starting a new blog about the fruits of the Spirit!  Full details are on the blog itself, which is up now with some basic information and a suggestion post.  Daily blog entries will begin tomorrow, Sunday, April 22!

Join me at http://fruitofthespiritproject.wordpress.com/.

(Why wordpress?  Because I read a book that said we are happiest in a state of growth, and I figured, why not learn a new blogging platform, since I've used blogger to death?  And you know what?  It was really fun!  I like wordpress.)

Abortion Alternatives

A friend of mine from college posted a request on facebook the other day.  She asked if anyone was interested in working to decrease the number of abortions through means outside legislative acts.  And suddenly I realized--I was!  I'm not a real believer in creating laws that police theological issues, specifically marriage and abortions (since those are the two big hot topics).  For one thing, I don't believe the United States is a Christian country, so I don't believe it is right to force all citizens to obey Christian laws.  But my second, more practical reason, is this:  people won't obey them.

Not allowing gay men and women to officially marry does nothing to stop gay relationships.  Not allowing women to have abortions does little to stop abortions.  Those laws just make the abortions more dangerous.

Obviously my ideas are not complete--I'm all for laws that prevent and then punish murderers.  That is a moral issue, and many would say it is just the same as preventing and then punishing aborting mothers.

I guess my real point is:  I think there is a better way.

My friend suggested many courses of actions:  better adoption services, providing free babysitting for single mothers, supporting comprehensive sex-ed classes in school.  I think these are fantastic ideas!  I am almost always more interested in changing the world through personal interaction rather than governmental statutes. 

What got me really excited was when I thought of my own suggestion.  Many women who are struggling with the choice to abort or keep their pregnancy could use counseling.  Not in an "anyone who would even consider aborting their baby obviously needs counseling!" way.  There are many reasons, some extremely complicated, why a woman would consider such an action.  I think counseling would be helpful.  And counseling for women who have had abortions.  And counseling for women who chose to keep their baby, now have a child they weren't 100% in favor of keeping, and need someone to talk to.

I could be that person!  Basically, I'm finding it super exciting all the ways studying biblical counseling will enable me to serve people and bring God's kingdom into our world. 

Pottermore!! Excuse Me While I Nerd Out

I have waited seven months for Pottermore to open to the public.  Seven months, Rowling!  How do you still have such power over me? 

So far it is totally worth it.  It's my understanding that the linear walk-through-book-one setup gets old after you go through the whole thing once.  But let's be honest.  I'm only here for the Sorting Hat.

OR SO I THOUGHT.  But it turns out you kind of get sorted when you answer questions for your wand!  And you guys!  I love mine!  It's a 13 1/2 inch unyielding sycamore wand with a phoenix feather core.  I've always wanted a phoenix core wand!  Quite right too, because in the description it is said to be the most rare kind of core (you know I like things to be unusual) and temperamental but capable of great magic.  YEAH.  And sycamore wood?  Is for questing!  And adventures!  And if you turn into a boring middle-aged wizard magically summoning your houseshoes, it will combust in protest!  Oh my gosh, how did Pottermore know me so well!?

OH MY GOSH I AM ABOUT TO BE SORTED RIGHT THIS VERY MOMENT.  And Jo is talking to me!  And the Sorting Hat's decision is final!  ACK!  What if I'm not in Ravenclaw?  Okay, here's my list of preference.

1.  Ravenclaw
2.  Slytherin
3.  Gryffindor
4.  Hufflepuff

OH PLEASE.  Over the past decade, I never thought I could really go to Hogwarts and get sorted!  The magic of the interwebs!

Oh gosh I think I just chose a Hufflepuff option.  But it was true!  I'm trying to be honest!  Yeerk, the stress of this!  I think this is worse than fighting trolls!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  I'm in GRYFFINDOR!! WHAT!?

Okay, no, wait, I can make this work.  I'm like Hermione.  I once read an article that said she didn't belong in Ravenclaw because Ravenclaws like to know things for the sake of knowing them.  Hermione likes to learn things to USE them.  On adventures.  Right?  Because of my sycamore wand?

*sigh*

At least I get to hang out with the Golden Trio and fight with Draco.  I suppose this isn't so bad.

Ooo hey, and we're second in House Points to Slytherin.  Okay, I've got to change my perception of myself.  Jo has spoken, and her word is law.  I'm a Gryffindor!  House alliance!  Woo hoo!

Okay, now I really really want to go back to Harry Potter World, go on the main ride, and while I'm in line stop by the house point containers and pull a cheesy grin by the Gryffindor pile. 

Help!

I need your help, blogosphere perusers!  I'm working on developing a project where I very deliberately try to grow the fruits of the Spirit in my life.  I know it sounds stupid to "develop a project" on something that should just be done.  But I need gimmicks for growth!  When I do things without boundaries or time limits or plans....it lasts about two days.  So I'm trying.

Here's the thing.  It's kind of hard to think of practical ways to enhance spiritual fruit.  I've got some ideas--for love, I can send someone a card.  For patience, I can get in the longest line at a store.  For peace, I can set aside a half hour for quiet.  But I need more examples, and more help!  So if you guys could give me suggestions, I would be super grateful!

Here's a refresher, if you need it:

Love
Joy
Peace
Patience
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Self-Control

Why Do I Love the Potterverse?

(I found this post when I was cleaning up my drafts in Blogger.  I don't know why I never posted it!  It's quite convincing!  If I weren't already in love with Harry Potter, I would have convinced myself.)

Why do I love Harry Potter so much?  Let me count the ways.

1)  The friendships.  There is a reason why they are called the Golden Trio.  Harry, Ron, and Hermione have the sort of friendship that I long for.  They stick together through fights and jealousies and crushes and Big Bad Evil People trying to kill them.  They laugh together, cry together, fight together.

2)  The minor characters.  What other world emotional invests me in paintings?  When the Fat Lady's painting was slashed in Prisoner of Azkaban, I was genuinely disturbed.  Come on, that's amazing.  And there are few characters I'm more interested in than the Marauders, and their story is only hinted at in relation to Harry's.  Rowling created a world full of three-dimensional characters, whether they appear for one chapter or seven books.

3)  Harry vs. Voldemort.  And no, not like in an epic fight.  I remember when I first realized that Rowling had set them up as foils, and it rocked my world.  I love that she made them essentially the same character--orphaned as babies, raised in hostile environments, ushered into a new life of wonder and acceptance....and then one was a hero, and the other was a villain.  It's perfect.  It makes me love Harry so much more, because honestly, he should have ended up just like Voldemort.  And it makes me love Voldemort, because I completely understand how he got where he did.  I love me some identifiable villains.

4)  Draco.  I heart him in all his incarnations.  I don't know why I love a snotty little boy who tries so hard to be impressive and constantly fails, but I do.  I guess it's because he wants so badly to live up to expectations (both his and society's) and when he doesn't, all he knows to do is lash out and make things worse.  I pity him, and I want to huggle him.  HP6 breaks my heart.  His is a truly tragic story, because every step he takes leads him further and further towards evil, and he keeps missing all the off ramps to heroism.

5)  Dumbledore.  I want a wise mentor like him, even if he was just grooming me for self-sacrifice.  His wisdom and his quirks and his oh-my-word-speeches.  His conversation with Draco at the tower in HP6 kills me ("No, Draco," said Dumbledore quietly. "It is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now."  GUH).

6)  Magic as an allegory for real world emotions/phenomena.  Come on.  Boggarts?  Genius.  There is no better way to portray Molly Weasley's emotional center than to show her cowering from a boggart that costumes itself as one dead son after another.  And dementors?  Also genius!  That is how depression feels, like all the happiness is seeping away, like cold is encroaching, like it might kiss away your very soul.

7)  Horcruxes.  Nothing more defined my beliefs about violence than horcruxes, believe it or not.  The idea that killing someone rips your soul in two--irreparably--is so poignant.  That's all I can even say.  Augh!

8)  The payoff.  I love that little things early the series are revealed to have a deeper meaning by the end.  The quaint little habit of new Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers every year?  Oh yeah, that's because VOLDEMORT CURSED THE POSITION.  Dobby, the strange creature with bug eyes and an unfortunate habit of hurting Harry while helping him?  Dies to save Harry's life.  Harry's handy invisibility cloak?  Only an ancient artifact passed down for generations that holds the answer to facing death.

9)  The story overshadowing the romance.  I love me some love.  But I refuse to believe that romance is the center of all existence.  Love?  Maybe.  Romance?  No.  So while I enjoyed the romance in the books (even if I rooted for Harry/Hermione all the while knowing it was a hopeless wish), it was so gratifying to see the romance as secondary.  The characters are teenagers, so of course they have crushes and love interests.  But they are teenagers in the midst of a massive battle of evil attempting to take over the world.  They have bigger things to worry about.  Much appreciated, Rowling.

10)  Love.  This might seem contradictory to #9, but it isn't!  I love that love is so important to the HP series.  Harry wouldn't be alive if his mother hadn't loved him so much.  Harry chose to die because he loved his friends more than himself.  Again with the friendships--these characters choose to love each other even when they're obnoxious and don't actually deserve to be loved.  A story that focuses on platonic and agape love instead of romantic love?  COUNT ME IN.

11)  Lots of enemies.  I love so much that not only are Voldemort and the Death Eaters the antagonists, but so is the Ministry of Magic!  Good guys who fight by the bad guy's rules inevitably become bad buys themselves.  I love the character of Umbridge, because she thinks she is good, but she is so creepily evil.  And Fudge!  What better depiction of the idea that not doing good is just as wrong as doing bad.  I love that heroism is not found in an institution--it's found in individuals.

12)  Death.  I love it when an author rips my heart out.  Epic battle of good versus evil?  I need to see a sizable body count if I'm going to take you seriously.  So when Rowling killed Sirius, and then Dumbledore, and then Hedwig and Fred and Lupin....I believed that this was a battle worth fighting.  I still stick to my pre-HP7 idea that the series would have been more awesome if Harry had stayed dead, because I tend to be a bit morbid and nihilistic.  But Rowling went all Christian on me and brought him back to life (it astounds me that anyone can still think these books are evil and anti-Christian).

13)  The Christian stuff.  Because even though my propensity to love Teh Sad wanted Harry to stay dead, I won't lie.  My heart rejoiced a little when Harry came back to life.  A perfect parallel to Jesus?  Of course not.  But sacrificial love is always good to see in pop culture, and the HOPE that it thrills into my soul.....oh man.  Good stuff.  And not just that scene.  One of my favorite favorite lines is when Dumbledore says, "To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure."  Preach it, Dumbledore.  And then he lives up to his ideals by dying with dignity and with hope.

I'm going to leave this at an awkward number.  But I love Harry Potter, and it is a series that I will probably squinch and cuddle and study for many many years to come.  Are there parts I don't like?  Yes!  But overall, HP gives me the warm fuzzies.

That is why anything HP related, anything that keeps the Potterverse alive, gets me all tingly and excited. 

Satisficer

I've found a new label for myself!  As someone who thoroughly enjoys introspection and categorization, this is very exciting.

I am a satisficer.  I learned this term from Gretchen Rubin, whose book, The Happiness Project, I am currently reading (more on it later, probably).  She talks about how people tend to be either satisficers or maximizers, though the inclination can change depending on circumstances.

What is a satisficer?  Satisficers are people who make a decision or take action once their criteria is met.  By contrast, a maximizer is someone who wants to make the optimal decision.

In my words, being a satisficer means that if I'm pleased with something, I do it or buy it or accept it.  I don't bother with looking into other options or better deals.  This isn't to say that I have either low or high standards.  If I want to buy a camera under $100, I might have to wait a whole year before buying.  Or if I see cute shoes for $20, I'll buy them without going to all the other stores in the mall to see if there's a better deal.  What counts is that I choose what I want without looking at other options.

This played out in real life very recently.  When I was in the fledgling stages of deciding whether or not to move to Dallas, I went to my mentor/friend for advice.  She told me to look into other graduate schools in other states, for lower prices, for better teachers, for shorter studies.  That idea made no sense to me, and I tried to explain that I was deciding between going to Dallas or not going to Dallas.  I wasn't interested in looking elsewhere. 

My friend/mentor was equally unimpressed with my idea.  She said some things that offended me, and since then, I've wondered who was in the right.

Turns out, I was.  And she was.  For my life decisions, I am a satisficer.  Trying to become a maximizer would have only added to my stress.  For her life decisions, she can act as a maximizer.  If I told her not to sweat it and just go with the one that stuck out to her the most, she would probably also be stressed.

But it just so happens that studies show satisficers tend to be happier.  That makes sense to me.  Trying to make the absolute best decision can take up a lot of physical and mental time and energy.  And once you've made it, you might always doubt that you got the best deal.  I'm that way some of the time, but not often.

Mostly, as I look back at my life choices, I made the decisions as a satisficer.  I only ever applied to Union, and I loved it.  My post-college mission life was Senegal or nothing, and I loved living there.  I bought Tim's fancy-pants camera without looking at other options, and I love it. 

Based on my experiences and the consequences of my decisions, I'm quite pleased with being a satisficer.  But it's nice to know that there is a term for it, and that other people think the same way.  There's a tendency to look at satisficers as lazy, maybe, but I don't think that's it.  We just know what we want, and when we get it, we are pleased.  Sounds good to me.

40 Days of Water COMPLETED

Today is the last day of 40 Days of Water!  Or really, the first day of drinking whatever I want!  Lent is set up to end on Easter Sunday, symbolically ushering in added joy and celebration to a Christian's best day of the year.

But I have a confession to make.  (No, it's not that I drank Sprite for lunch a couple weeks ago and didn't even realize I'd broken my fast until I thought about it two days later.)  My confession is that I lost the spirit of the event about halfway through.

I started with pure intentions.  I wanted to teach myself about the suffering of others.  I wanted to trust in God, to remind myself to pray for people who don't have access to clean water, to be more thankful for what I have.

But after a couple weeks, it mostly became a chore and a routine.  I happily celebrated my feast days on Sundays, but didn't think about how the physical could lead me to the spiritual.  I craved coffee and tea, but instead of using that craving to remind me of others, I simply complained.

Despite my mostly failure, I'm very glad I participated in 40 Days of Water.  I will donate the money I saved by drinking water, and that is important.  But even more important, I learned some stuff.  I learned that fasting is an area of my life that needs work.  Doing things is not valuable only if we succeed.  There is knowledge in failure, and worth in failure, too.

Kiss, Tickle, Whatever

During Story Time, we sang a song that pretty much went over the story of Sleeping Beauty, so after we finished I asked, "Have you heard that story before?  Of a princess who fell asleep for a long, long time and was woken up by a prince's kiss?"

A little boy thought for a second, then answered, "We have friends named Evelyn and Richard.  Richard tickles Evelyn's feet when she's asleep, and she wakes up!"

Yes, just like that.

Running Into An Old Teacher

Once a month, I go to each middle school for lunchtime Book Talks with the 7th and 8th graders.  Yesterday's trip to DVMS proved the best yet!  Or at least, the most entertaining, and also embarrassing.

See, my old AP History teacher is now the principal there, while my old AP English teacher is vice.  In the year+ that I've been doing this, I've never run into Mr. Holmes.  Until yesterday.  He came in, started making an announcement about something-or-other, then stopped midsentence and said, "Oh, hi, Tricia!" 

My face immediately went up in flames as I crossed the room to shake his hand and desperately thought, "Don't call him Hottie Mr. Holmes, do NOT call him Hottie Mr. Holmes."

"I didn't recognize you.  You're all grown up!" he said.

"Yeah.  And now you're a principal!"

"I grew up too."

"HAHAHA."

Then there was a little bit of awkward standing around where the DVMS school librarian filled him in on what I was doing and how I wouldn't be doing it much longer.  I mostly stood there pulling ridiculous faces and then wondering, "WHY DID I DO THAT?"

Finally he broke in and said, "You went to the Olympics, right?  You were a week late to school?"

I barely remember this.  But I said he was right.  Like I would contradict one of my favorite high school teachers, even if he were wrong.

"But then you came back and..."

WHAT!?  I wanted him to say, "And then you rocked my class harder than any student I've ever had."  But he didn't.  He just trailed off with a smile.  I assume he was thinking that, though.

"You've got a good memory," I stammered.

With a superior air, he said, "I remember things."

Once again, I freaked out.  He remembers things, like how my friends and I used to call him Hottie Mr. Holmes?  Did he know about that?!

Luckily, the subject was never broached, and we shook hands again and wished each other luck in our upcoming adventures.

It doesn't matter how old I get.  Whenever I meet past authority figures, I immediately regress into childhood, or worse, adolescence.