At the end of LEGO club, two boys were quietly taking their creation apart and putting into the appropriate bins. I noticed the third boy hanging back a bit, holding his spaceship over his head, eyeing the bin and then me as if gauging the rewards versus the punishments of throwing it.
I cut short his mental balance and said, "Whoa. That would be too destructive," and gave him the stern eyebrow raise.
One of the two quiet kids looked up at me in awe and said, "Wow! Nice use of vocabulary!"
Oh, kid. You're too easily impressed.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
Doctor Who S1E06 "Dalek" Semi-Live Blog
I couldn't do it anymore. I absolutely dreaded rewatching the farting Slitheen, and finally I just gave up and decided to skip them. Because when I looked at the titles of the rest of Season 1, I realized that everything else is AWESOME.
2012. That is now! Nine and Rose are having this adventure right now!'
Ooo, nice foreshadowing of the Cybermen. Obviously I didn't get that the first time because I hadn't seen them before. And the signal is revealed! Someone wants the Doctor! (me! me! I do!)
Americans. Are we all so arrogant and impetuous? Or just the rich ones? And we are torturers, oh I feel so bad for the unknown tortured thing. OR DO I?
Sassy Nine. I am always surprised at how snarky he is.
"You just stumbled in by mistake?"
"About sums me up!"
The Doctor meets the daleks for the first time (in New Who)! It is awesome! Unfortunately, subsequent meetings will be far less dramatic, especially when they crop up 20 million times.
This is maybe the most scared the Doctor ever is? And the most vengeful. I like it! Damaged people, flock to me.
"I watched it happen. I MADE it happen!"
"You destroyed us?"
So much information about the Doctor in this scene. His greatest enemy. The reason for his loneliness.
"I am alone in the universe."
"Yup."
"So are you. We are the same."
"We are not the same! I'm not--!"
Waaaah, and the Doctor tortures him! NO! Ugh, the revulsion I feel at seeing the Doctor do something so evil. It's so unusual!
Why do evil torturers always have that gross smile when they imagine torturing?
Rose and another boy. She needs to wake up and realize how awesome the Doctor is. But really, I like that it takes her awhile to fall in love. She knows he's too old. She knows he is emotionally messed up. She knows she has other people to care for. She knows a life of time travel and dangerous adventures can't last forever.
But later...the more she knows him, she falls in love. I think the Doctor loves her much quicker than she loves him. "She fell asleep like she fell in love...slowly, and then all at once" (The Fault in Our Stars by John Green).
"It's being tortured! Where's the Doctor?"
Oh, Rose, I love you! You are so compassionate! And little do you know that Nine was just torturing it previously. Prepare to be confronted with the sad fact that the Doctor is not perfect.
Ugh. Just because he's the last of his kind, you can use him however you want? I dislike you, Van Statton.
Baby Rose, making conversation with a dalek.
"Do you fear me?"
"No."
"I am dying."
"No, we can help!"
ILU Rose. And then she touches it! And the dalek becomes...super strong? BECAUSE ROSE IS SUPER STRONG?
Ew, being suckered death looks really painful.
Doctor: I don't care about any of those other humans, but Rose, get out of there! Aw, Nine. Your affection for your companions is so overwhelming.
Daleks are eerily indestructible. Like really? What kind of metal is that? And why do people keep shooting at it when the bullets are obviously doing nothing?
And the dalek can hover! Dun dun dun. You can just tell that RTD is giggling like a true Whovian, reveling in CGI power and the ability to shock Who fans.
"Come with us! You can't stop it!"
"Someone has to try."
Aw, humans and their hero complexes. I love it.
Man, this episode just makes me sad for all the upcoming subpar dalek episodes. THIS IS SO GOOD. The last dalek in the world! Taking down armies of men, first one by one with his laser, then all at once by being smart with rain and electricity. This is how daleks are intimidating. This is how villains are both terrifying and pitiable.
The Doctor is this champion of empathy. He has a major trigger for "last of my kind" aliens, whether good or evil. He will do anything to ensure that species don't die out. But when confronted with this last dalek...
"Why don't you just die!?"
"You would make a good dalek."
And his poor baby face! Why did I wait so long? This show is magnificent.
Example of how Doctor Who does sexism right. The Doctor tells Rose that she is in danger, that he cannot help her, and that she'd better run. He trusts her to save herself. Brilliant!
Except that...she doesn't make it! Nine chooses to close the bulkhead, and Rose isn't fast enough.
"Rose, where are you? Rose? Did you make it?"
"Sorry. I was a bit slow. It wasn't your fault, okay? Remember that. It wasn't your fault. And you know what? I wouldn't have missed it for the world."
It's okay kids! YOUR LOVE IS ETERNAL.
Nine's face when he thinks Rose is dead. The realization that all he does is bring destruction. He ruined the dalek race. He killed his own people. And now he's brought a human into the mess, and she's dead too because of him.
But what's this? The dalek has a soul? So so good.
"I feel your fear. Daleks do not fear! You gave me life. What else have you given me? I am contaminated!"
Oh, dalek. I never cared for you beside this episode.
"What use are emotions if you will not save the woman you love?"
Aw, snap, dalek calling it like it is. If I had to make a shipping essay, I would posit that this is when Nine fell in love with Rose. He sees her dies, then sees her alive again. It's only when he loses her that he realizes how much he cares for her. And having his enemy, who they've already established are very similar, call him out on his feelings, is the last little nudge. This is the beginning of Nine loving Rose.
The dalek has an identity crisis. Rose helps it through the confusion, by saving the Arrogant American! Why, Rose? He obviously deserves to die! YOU ARE SO GOOD. ILU Rose Tyler.
"I never thought I'd feel the sunlight again."
"How does it feel?"
REVEAL THE REAL DALEK FORM. Aw, man. I miss seeing this for the first time. That squiggly tentacle reaching out--for contact with Rose, for contact with sunlight. How does a squishy blue murderous alien in a tin pepper pot make me feel so many emotions!?
"Get out of the way! Rose, get out of the way now!"
"No. Because I won't let you do this."
"That thing killed hundreds of people."
"It's not the one pointing a gun at me."
Oh, Doctor/Rose. You are so good together. This scene encompasses the whole of Rose bringing Nine back to life. He's so broken at destroying his people. He feels so much guilt and pain and rage. And Rose is there to force him to be compassionate. She's there to be his companion, his confidant, his heart.
And as Rose shows Nine how to care, Nine shows Rose how to be strong. She learns that sometimes death is the better option. That letting the dalek kill itself is the right thing, even if it's sad. She learns throughout the season how to make hard choices, to be responsible for death and destruction.
They complement each other so perfectly. OTP.
"The dalek survived. Maybe some of your people did too."
"No, I'd know. Feels like there's no one."
ORLY? I cannot wait for the Master! Hurry up, seasons! I want to get to the Master.
2012. That is now! Nine and Rose are having this adventure right now!'
Ooo, nice foreshadowing of the Cybermen. Obviously I didn't get that the first time because I hadn't seen them before. And the signal is revealed! Someone wants the Doctor! (me! me! I do!)
Americans. Are we all so arrogant and impetuous? Or just the rich ones? And we are torturers, oh I feel so bad for the unknown tortured thing. OR DO I?
Sassy Nine. I am always surprised at how snarky he is.
"You just stumbled in by mistake?"
"About sums me up!"
The Doctor meets the daleks for the first time (in New Who)! It is awesome! Unfortunately, subsequent meetings will be far less dramatic, especially when they crop up 20 million times.
This is maybe the most scared the Doctor ever is? And the most vengeful. I like it! Damaged people, flock to me.
"I watched it happen. I MADE it happen!"
"You destroyed us?"
So much information about the Doctor in this scene. His greatest enemy. The reason for his loneliness.
"I am alone in the universe."
"Yup."
"So are you. We are the same."
"We are not the same! I'm not--!"
Waaaah, and the Doctor tortures him! NO! Ugh, the revulsion I feel at seeing the Doctor do something so evil. It's so unusual!
Why do evil torturers always have that gross smile when they imagine torturing?
Rose and another boy. She needs to wake up and realize how awesome the Doctor is. But really, I like that it takes her awhile to fall in love. She knows he's too old. She knows he is emotionally messed up. She knows she has other people to care for. She knows a life of time travel and dangerous adventures can't last forever.
But later...the more she knows him, she falls in love. I think the Doctor loves her much quicker than she loves him. "She fell asleep like she fell in love...slowly, and then all at once" (The Fault in Our Stars by John Green).
"It's being tortured! Where's the Doctor?"
Oh, Rose, I love you! You are so compassionate! And little do you know that Nine was just torturing it previously. Prepare to be confronted with the sad fact that the Doctor is not perfect.
Ugh. Just because he's the last of his kind, you can use him however you want? I dislike you, Van Statton.
Baby Rose, making conversation with a dalek.
"Do you fear me?"
"No."
"I am dying."
"No, we can help!"
ILU Rose. And then she touches it! And the dalek becomes...super strong? BECAUSE ROSE IS SUPER STRONG?
Ew, being suckered death looks really painful.
Doctor: I don't care about any of those other humans, but Rose, get out of there! Aw, Nine. Your affection for your companions is so overwhelming.
Daleks are eerily indestructible. Like really? What kind of metal is that? And why do people keep shooting at it when the bullets are obviously doing nothing?
And the dalek can hover! Dun dun dun. You can just tell that RTD is giggling like a true Whovian, reveling in CGI power and the ability to shock Who fans.
"Come with us! You can't stop it!"
"Someone has to try."
Aw, humans and their hero complexes. I love it.
Man, this episode just makes me sad for all the upcoming subpar dalek episodes. THIS IS SO GOOD. The last dalek in the world! Taking down armies of men, first one by one with his laser, then all at once by being smart with rain and electricity. This is how daleks are intimidating. This is how villains are both terrifying and pitiable.
The Doctor is this champion of empathy. He has a major trigger for "last of my kind" aliens, whether good or evil. He will do anything to ensure that species don't die out. But when confronted with this last dalek...
"Why don't you just die!?"
"You would make a good dalek."
And his poor baby face! Why did I wait so long? This show is magnificent.
Example of how Doctor Who does sexism right. The Doctor tells Rose that she is in danger, that he cannot help her, and that she'd better run. He trusts her to save herself. Brilliant!
Except that...she doesn't make it! Nine chooses to close the bulkhead, and Rose isn't fast enough.
"Rose, where are you? Rose? Did you make it?"
"Sorry. I was a bit slow. It wasn't your fault, okay? Remember that. It wasn't your fault. And you know what? I wouldn't have missed it for the world."
It's okay kids! YOUR LOVE IS ETERNAL.
Nine's face when he thinks Rose is dead. The realization that all he does is bring destruction. He ruined the dalek race. He killed his own people. And now he's brought a human into the mess, and she's dead too because of him.
But what's this? The dalek has a soul? So so good.
"I feel your fear. Daleks do not fear! You gave me life. What else have you given me? I am contaminated!"
Oh, dalek. I never cared for you beside this episode.
"What use are emotions if you will not save the woman you love?"
Aw, snap, dalek calling it like it is. If I had to make a shipping essay, I would posit that this is when Nine fell in love with Rose. He sees her dies, then sees her alive again. It's only when he loses her that he realizes how much he cares for her. And having his enemy, who they've already established are very similar, call him out on his feelings, is the last little nudge. This is the beginning of Nine loving Rose.
The dalek has an identity crisis. Rose helps it through the confusion, by saving the Arrogant American! Why, Rose? He obviously deserves to die! YOU ARE SO GOOD. ILU Rose Tyler.
"I never thought I'd feel the sunlight again."
"How does it feel?"
REVEAL THE REAL DALEK FORM. Aw, man. I miss seeing this for the first time. That squiggly tentacle reaching out--for contact with Rose, for contact with sunlight. How does a squishy blue murderous alien in a tin pepper pot make me feel so many emotions!?
"Get out of the way! Rose, get out of the way now!"
"No. Because I won't let you do this."
"That thing killed hundreds of people."
"It's not the one pointing a gun at me."
Oh, Doctor/Rose. You are so good together. This scene encompasses the whole of Rose bringing Nine back to life. He's so broken at destroying his people. He feels so much guilt and pain and rage. And Rose is there to force him to be compassionate. She's there to be his companion, his confidant, his heart.
And as Rose shows Nine how to care, Nine shows Rose how to be strong. She learns that sometimes death is the better option. That letting the dalek kill itself is the right thing, even if it's sad. She learns throughout the season how to make hard choices, to be responsible for death and destruction.
They complement each other so perfectly. OTP.
"The dalek survived. Maybe some of your people did too."
"No, I'd know. Feels like there's no one."
ORLY? I cannot wait for the Master! Hurry up, seasons! I want to get to the Master.
That Boy
Explanation flashback: For the last two years of college, I was in love with That Boy. We hung out all the time, but he verbally put me in the friend zone, so mostly I went around in a haze of "this is unfair, I wanted more than this, boooo."
Then I graduated, moved to Senegal, moved to Peoria, and liked other boys.
Today I skyped with Stephanie. She just saw That Boy's parents at a Turkish party, and they asked about the other people on the mission trip of January 2009. Then they asked about me by name! Which is weird because I only ever met them once, when we watched Obama's inauguration at their aparment.
Turns out there was this one time when I gave That Boy a haircut. He and his friends went to his grandparents' house in Memphis soon after, and I became known as The Barber. For a long time afterwards, his grandparents (and then his parents) would frequently ask That Boy how The Barber was doing. ME. They were asking about me in that coy unsubtle way people do!
I feel both annoyed and relieved. Because at least it wasn't only me who thought That Boy and I had a thing. His friends thought we should be together. My friends thought we should be together. Even his parents and grandparents thought so.
Of course, that also means I am very good at winning over everyone EXCEPT the boy I like.
Which is, just, my life.
I should also point out that I found out That Boy just got engaged yesterday. And then I found out this. And....relationships. Love. I don't do them well.
Then I graduated, moved to Senegal, moved to Peoria, and liked other boys.
Today I skyped with Stephanie. She just saw That Boy's parents at a Turkish party, and they asked about the other people on the mission trip of January 2009. Then they asked about me by name! Which is weird because I only ever met them once, when we watched Obama's inauguration at their aparment.
Turns out there was this one time when I gave That Boy a haircut. He and his friends went to his grandparents' house in Memphis soon after, and I became known as The Barber. For a long time afterwards, his grandparents (and then his parents) would frequently ask That Boy how The Barber was doing. ME. They were asking about me in that coy unsubtle way people do!
I feel both annoyed and relieved. Because at least it wasn't only me who thought That Boy and I had a thing. His friends thought we should be together. My friends thought we should be together. Even his parents and grandparents thought so.
Of course, that also means I am very good at winning over everyone EXCEPT the boy I like.
Which is, just, my life.
I should also point out that I found out That Boy just got engaged yesterday. And then I found out this. And....relationships. Love. I don't do them well.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
A Story
I've been slowly editing my Senegal blog because I have this idea that maybe I could someday try to publish it. It's weird to reread my life from only two years ago, because I was such an optimistic, balls-busting kid. I was going to change the world! My life path was so obvious!
And now I'm back to mystery and confusion. I want to pat my past self on the head, with a little bit of condesension and a little bit of jealousy.
The editing plus a few other things have gotten me on a creative kick, so I've decided to every once in a while take the writing prompts I use for library Young Author clubs and write some stuff myself!
Results beneath the cut.
And now I'm back to mystery and confusion. I want to pat my past self on the head, with a little bit of condesension and a little bit of jealousy.
The editing plus a few other things have gotten me on a creative kick, so I've decided to every once in a while take the writing prompts I use for library Young Author clubs and write some stuff myself!
Results beneath the cut.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
The Fault in Our Stars
What is this!? John Green (DFTBA!) has just released a new book, and like the awesome librarian and nerdfighter I am, I preordered it, knowing he was signing all the preordered copies. All 150,000 of them. The man is a champion.
Anyway, it's this book about cancer, about still living life and being funny and being sad and maybe falling in love. I am only 31 pages in, and already I am beside myself. The way he can make life more meaningful with the power of his words astounds me. Oh, and also? The narrator is a girl. A super believable girl. If I weren't so aware of the fact that John Green wrote The Fault in Our Stars, I would have assumed a woman wrote it.
There have been several phrases or sentences that I wanted to quote, but finally I cracked. After Augustus (hot boy who is shaping up to be the love interest) tells his story of battling cancer by relating it to a mutual friend, Hazel (girl with an oxygen tank who goes to support groups to mock things but also feel a little bit better), thinks this:
"I liked Augustus Waters. I really, really, really liked him. I liked the way his story ended with someone else. I liked his voice. I liked that he took existentially fraught free throws. I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointment in the Department of Having a Voice That Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."
John Green, what are you doing!? A voice that makes my skin feel more like skin? How do you describe those emotions and experiences with such perfection? Do you have a copyright on the English language, because sir, you deserve it.
Smart kids falling in love while dying of cancer. THIS BOOK IS GOING TO SLAY ME.
Nerdfighter, and proud of it.
Anyway, it's this book about cancer, about still living life and being funny and being sad and maybe falling in love. I am only 31 pages in, and already I am beside myself. The way he can make life more meaningful with the power of his words astounds me. Oh, and also? The narrator is a girl. A super believable girl. If I weren't so aware of the fact that John Green wrote The Fault in Our Stars, I would have assumed a woman wrote it.
There have been several phrases or sentences that I wanted to quote, but finally I cracked. After Augustus (hot boy who is shaping up to be the love interest) tells his story of battling cancer by relating it to a mutual friend, Hazel (girl with an oxygen tank who goes to support groups to mock things but also feel a little bit better), thinks this:
"I liked Augustus Waters. I really, really, really liked him. I liked the way his story ended with someone else. I liked his voice. I liked that he took existentially fraught free throws. I liked that he was a tenured professor in the Department of Slightly Crooked Smiles with a dual appointment in the Department of Having a Voice That Made My Skin Feel More Like Skin."
John Green, what are you doing!? A voice that makes my skin feel more like skin? How do you describe those emotions and experiences with such perfection? Do you have a copyright on the English language, because sir, you deserve it.
Smart kids falling in love while dying of cancer. THIS BOOK IS GOING TO SLAY ME.
Nerdfighter, and proud of it.
Things I Love: Gg
The Gambler by Fun.
This song! It is perfect. It has tied with The Luckiest by Ben Folds as the most romantic song in the whole world (this is a huge feat....The Luckiest was uncontested for six years).
I am sometimes in the mood for schmaltzy gooey love songs. I am ALWAYS in the mood for life story love songs, about problems and pains and falling in love and children and getting old. It is hard to have all of that in one song, but Fun. manages to do it, with an awesome trippy happy beat as well.
Select lyrics from the falling in love beginning:
We were barely 18 when we'd crossed collective hearts.
It was cold, but it got warm when you'd barely crossed my eye.
and then you turned, put out your hand,
and you asked me to dance.
I knew nothing of romance, but it was love at second sight.
Select lyrics from the being in love much later ending:
You come home from work and you kiss me on the eye
You curse the dogs and say that I should never feed them what is ours
and the kids are coming home
I'll set the table
You can make the fire.
MY HEART IS SLAIN.
Gilmore Girls
I have a weird relationship with this show. When I'm watching it, I completely adore it. It's the best of the best! But a couple months later, I think of it with ambivalence. Then something will trigger my desire to watch a specific episode, and several hours later I am marathoning through the season. I don't know why its awesomeness doesn't stay in my brain, because it should.
Rory is my TV kindred spirit. She is probably the most like me of all TV characters (minus her ability to attract super hot guys who fall all over themselves trying to win her heart--how does she do it!?). She is a bit quiet, pretty smart, and mostly awkward. She can be witty, but she doesn't steal any spotlights. She's passionate about what she believes in, and she hates failing. Rory = me.
...Until this last time I was watching, and I noticed that I've picked up some of Lorelai's characteristics. When I'm feisty, I'm Lorelai, with her open-mouthed grin and teasing and dramatic hand gestures and flair for the weird. Have I grown up on my own, or have multiple rewatchs subconsciously morphed me into her? Weird.
Other than the fantastic two leads, there is witty banter, and a loving relationship between mother and dauther, and the only depiction of a small town that I've wanted to live in, and awesome best friends, and oh yeah, all those super hot boys.
Gift Cards
Present-exchanging events can be stressful! I've never mastered the smart habit of buying friend-related items whenever I see them, keeping them until their birthday or Christmas. Instead, a week before that special event, I run around trying to find anything that vaguely resembles something they might enjoy. I have a feeling most people can tell.
And you know what? Sometimes I can too! What is the answer for such thoughtless giving (besides the aforementioned smart pre-buying)? Gift cards!
Even if you don't know of a THING your friend might like, I bet you know a place they like to shop or eat or drink at. So why not give them a gift card, and let them spend the money themselves? Unless you're a total tool and you buy me a gift card to Menards, I'm going to be happy.
Personal gifts are always best. But if you can't think of something personal and awesome, go with a gift card, not some generic crap that will sit on a shelf for a month before being thrown away.
Green Grass
This might sound stupid, until I tell you that 1) I did double alliteration TWICE in this post, and 2) I lived in Senegal for five months. I had a lot of fun there, but it was one of the ugliest places in the world (everything was brown! the ground, the houses, the sky!). After a couple months, it wore on my soul. I'm not even exaggerating. Apparently beauty and aesthetics mean a whole lot to my psychological well-being. That is also why I like Apple products.
Once when we went to Dakar, I saw a patch of grass beside an ATM machine. I begged Kim to pull over, and I promptly took off my Chacos and blissfully sank my toes into sweet growing grass. Later, when my time in Senegal was up, I flew into Chicago's airport. I had the aisle seat, but I basically fell all over the woman by the window, drinking up the blue sky and green grass around the airport. She finally called me out on my invasion of her personal space, and I said, "I'm sorry, but it's just so beautiful!" She gave me a weird look and replied, "The strips of grass between runways? ....Okay."
This might be why Mongolia is one of my favorite, most beautiful places in the world.
Gender Studies
I majored in sociology, but I'll be honest, the first few classes were not overwhelming awesome. I liked deciding that I was a symbolic interactionist, but a lot of social theory was only mildly interesting. Then I took my Gender and Sexuality class.
It blew my mind! I made posters on pornography, happily read extra essays, and gleefully learned about how gender effects everything! The scale of feminine to masculine is far more fluid than our vocabulary allows. One of my favorite quotes from one of our textbooks (which I read for fun) was that the difference between an average man and an average woman is far smaller than the difference between a masculine woman and a feminine woman.
Basically, gender and sex are two very different things. One is biological, the other is a social construct. FASCINATING oh my gosh, I'm wanting to find my textbook and reread it. Kids can be traumatized by parents enforcing gender boundaries too harshly. Adults can be shamed by not fitting into our tiny boxes of gender identity.
I love the idea of letting people be people. I am feminine. I like to get dressed up, I like to feel pretty, I like to support people and empathize, I like to feel emotions. But I am also masculine. I'm not particuarly attached to kids, I like getting dirty, I like to be independent.
And if you thought, "Hey, that's not femininity (or masculinity)!" then you're right. There's no hard and fast rules of what gender really means. It's fluid and social, and for that exact reason, forcing people into boxes is stupid.
This song! It is perfect. It has tied with The Luckiest by Ben Folds as the most romantic song in the whole world (this is a huge feat....The Luckiest was uncontested for six years).
I am sometimes in the mood for schmaltzy gooey love songs. I am ALWAYS in the mood for life story love songs, about problems and pains and falling in love and children and getting old. It is hard to have all of that in one song, but Fun. manages to do it, with an awesome trippy happy beat as well.
Select lyrics from the falling in love beginning:
We were barely 18 when we'd crossed collective hearts.
It was cold, but it got warm when you'd barely crossed my eye.
and then you turned, put out your hand,
and you asked me to dance.
I knew nothing of romance, but it was love at second sight.
Select lyrics from the being in love much later ending:
You come home from work and you kiss me on the eye
You curse the dogs and say that I should never feed them what is ours
and the kids are coming home
I'll set the table
You can make the fire.
MY HEART IS SLAIN.
Gilmore Girls
I have a weird relationship with this show. When I'm watching it, I completely adore it. It's the best of the best! But a couple months later, I think of it with ambivalence. Then something will trigger my desire to watch a specific episode, and several hours later I am marathoning through the season. I don't know why its awesomeness doesn't stay in my brain, because it should.
Rory is my TV kindred spirit. She is probably the most like me of all TV characters (minus her ability to attract super hot guys who fall all over themselves trying to win her heart--how does she do it!?). She is a bit quiet, pretty smart, and mostly awkward. She can be witty, but she doesn't steal any spotlights. She's passionate about what she believes in, and she hates failing. Rory = me.
...Until this last time I was watching, and I noticed that I've picked up some of Lorelai's characteristics. When I'm feisty, I'm Lorelai, with her open-mouthed grin and teasing and dramatic hand gestures and flair for the weird. Have I grown up on my own, or have multiple rewatchs subconsciously morphed me into her? Weird.
Other than the fantastic two leads, there is witty banter, and a loving relationship between mother and dauther, and the only depiction of a small town that I've wanted to live in, and awesome best friends, and oh yeah, all those super hot boys.
Gift Cards
Present-exchanging events can be stressful! I've never mastered the smart habit of buying friend-related items whenever I see them, keeping them until their birthday or Christmas. Instead, a week before that special event, I run around trying to find anything that vaguely resembles something they might enjoy. I have a feeling most people can tell.
And you know what? Sometimes I can too! What is the answer for such thoughtless giving (besides the aforementioned smart pre-buying)? Gift cards!
Even if you don't know of a THING your friend might like, I bet you know a place they like to shop or eat or drink at. So why not give them a gift card, and let them spend the money themselves? Unless you're a total tool and you buy me a gift card to Menards, I'm going to be happy.
Personal gifts are always best. But if you can't think of something personal and awesome, go with a gift card, not some generic crap that will sit on a shelf for a month before being thrown away.
Green Grass
This might sound stupid, until I tell you that 1) I did double alliteration TWICE in this post, and 2) I lived in Senegal for five months. I had a lot of fun there, but it was one of the ugliest places in the world (everything was brown! the ground, the houses, the sky!). After a couple months, it wore on my soul. I'm not even exaggerating. Apparently beauty and aesthetics mean a whole lot to my psychological well-being. That is also why I like Apple products.
Once when we went to Dakar, I saw a patch of grass beside an ATM machine. I begged Kim to pull over, and I promptly took off my Chacos and blissfully sank my toes into sweet growing grass. Later, when my time in Senegal was up, I flew into Chicago's airport. I had the aisle seat, but I basically fell all over the woman by the window, drinking up the blue sky and green grass around the airport. She finally called me out on my invasion of her personal space, and I said, "I'm sorry, but it's just so beautiful!" She gave me a weird look and replied, "The strips of grass between runways? ....Okay."
This might be why Mongolia is one of my favorite, most beautiful places in the world.
Sure, Usukhbayar is adorable, but look at those rolling green hills!
I majored in sociology, but I'll be honest, the first few classes were not overwhelming awesome. I liked deciding that I was a symbolic interactionist, but a lot of social theory was only mildly interesting. Then I took my Gender and Sexuality class.
It blew my mind! I made posters on pornography, happily read extra essays, and gleefully learned about how gender effects everything! The scale of feminine to masculine is far more fluid than our vocabulary allows. One of my favorite quotes from one of our textbooks (which I read for fun) was that the difference between an average man and an average woman is far smaller than the difference between a masculine woman and a feminine woman.
Basically, gender and sex are two very different things. One is biological, the other is a social construct. FASCINATING oh my gosh, I'm wanting to find my textbook and reread it. Kids can be traumatized by parents enforcing gender boundaries too harshly. Adults can be shamed by not fitting into our tiny boxes of gender identity.
I love the idea of letting people be people. I am feminine. I like to get dressed up, I like to feel pretty, I like to support people and empathize, I like to feel emotions. But I am also masculine. I'm not particuarly attached to kids, I like getting dirty, I like to be independent.
And if you thought, "Hey, that's not femininity (or masculinity)!" then you're right. There's no hard and fast rules of what gender really means. It's fluid and social, and for that exact reason, forcing people into boxes is stupid.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Books and God and Me
A while ago I took Cheryl's test that tells you.....something spiritual. I don't remember the exact term, but what I learned is that when I want to take steps toward reigniting passion for God, I should read.
LOL SURPRISE.
But really, it was kind of cool to see that reading is how my soul and mind and heart get spurred to action. So when I'm in a spiritual funk, the easiest way for me to get out of it is to read a book about God and spirituality (for other people, listening to music or enjoying nature can do the trick).
The thing is, I haven't been reading many Christian books lately. Ever since I found out the IL award nominated books were being voted on in February, I have been killing myself trying to read and review them all (20 picture books, 20 middle grade books, and 42 novels). Added to that the regular books that I want to read for fun, and....I've been a bit tied up, book-wise.
Finally today a bunch of guilt things and study things came together and I realized I needed to read a Christian book or I would be overtly ignoring God's nudgings. I started Radical Together by David Platt (his follow-up to Radical) and after ten pages I was flailing in the break room, making notes on napkins and thinking up ways to serve God better.
It's annoying when I ignore the solution to a problem for so long, and when I finally use the solution, it works in like, five seconds. Way to be stubborn and stupid, me.
I recommend the book, though. It's reinvigorated me like nothing has for the past several months. THANK GOODNESS. I was beginning to think I was broken. Turns out I just needed a purpose and a challenge.
LOL SURPRISE.
But really, it was kind of cool to see that reading is how my soul and mind and heart get spurred to action. So when I'm in a spiritual funk, the easiest way for me to get out of it is to read a book about God and spirituality (for other people, listening to music or enjoying nature can do the trick).
The thing is, I haven't been reading many Christian books lately. Ever since I found out the IL award nominated books were being voted on in February, I have been killing myself trying to read and review them all (20 picture books, 20 middle grade books, and 42 novels). Added to that the regular books that I want to read for fun, and....I've been a bit tied up, book-wise.
Finally today a bunch of guilt things and study things came together and I realized I needed to read a Christian book or I would be overtly ignoring God's nudgings. I started Radical Together by David Platt (his follow-up to Radical) and after ten pages I was flailing in the break room, making notes on napkins and thinking up ways to serve God better.
It's annoying when I ignore the solution to a problem for so long, and when I finally use the solution, it works in like, five seconds. Way to be stubborn and stupid, me.
I recommend the book, though. It's reinvigorated me like nothing has for the past several months. THANK GOODNESS. I was beginning to think I was broken. Turns out I just needed a purpose and a challenge.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Can't We All Just Get Along
I am the sort of person who reads marriage books, who wants something deeper than happiness, who thinks way too much about something that is not in my near future. No from self-pity or anything. I find marriage fascinating. It is the most complex, hardest, most stressful, and most rewarding relationship I think two humans can have.
I was told today that there is a book that says marriage is how you best understand God, relate to God, or something along those lines. And I just? No.
Obviously that is distressing for a perpetually single girl. Granted, 23 is not old maid town, but there's always the possibility I'll always be single. Again, not self pity. All possibilities are possible.
And that could be fine! I've heard the opposite argument, that you can't really serve God unless you're single, and I think that is also wrong. If these are circumstances beyond our control, why would our relationship with God be based on them? I think God is bigger than any human relationship or lack thereof.
Can you understand the character of God's love more easily after committing to spend your ife with someone who sometimes fails and disappoints you but you stay with them anyway? Sure. An you learn to rely on God alone and trust him and follow him more easily if you're single? Sure.
Different relationships show us different facets of God's character, but I don't believe that one is better than another.
Why not look at our current stage of life, our current relationships, and ask, "God, what are you teaching me? What can I learn about you right now?" God is no nearer or further from us at any point in our life.
So yeah, marriage is great and scary and can reveal a lot about God. But please don't tell me that you can learn more about God by being married. Society already tells me I'm a loser for being single. Don't make my spirituality second-class too.
I was told today that there is a book that says marriage is how you best understand God, relate to God, or something along those lines. And I just? No.
Obviously that is distressing for a perpetually single girl. Granted, 23 is not old maid town, but there's always the possibility I'll always be single. Again, not self pity. All possibilities are possible.
And that could be fine! I've heard the opposite argument, that you can't really serve God unless you're single, and I think that is also wrong. If these are circumstances beyond our control, why would our relationship with God be based on them? I think God is bigger than any human relationship or lack thereof.
Can you understand the character of God's love more easily after committing to spend your ife with someone who sometimes fails and disappoints you but you stay with them anyway? Sure. An you learn to rely on God alone and trust him and follow him more easily if you're single? Sure.
Different relationships show us different facets of God's character, but I don't believe that one is better than another.
Why not look at our current stage of life, our current relationships, and ask, "God, what are you teaching me? What can I learn about you right now?" God is no nearer or further from us at any point in our life.
So yeah, marriage is great and scary and can reveal a lot about God. But please don't tell me that you can learn more about God by being married. Society already tells me I'm a loser for being single. Don't make my spirituality second-class too.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Spelling Bees
Today at work I got to be a reader for the local home school group's spelling bee. I learned again how true it is that being on the authority side of trauma is gleefully fun.
When I was in fourth grade, Mrs. Carter told me she wanted me to be in the spelling bee. I said no thank you. She said she would talk to my mom. When I got home, I received a lecture on the importance of doing things you don't want to do, because that's how it works in the Real World. What a horrible image of growing up. No wonder I still recoil at the idea of being an adult.
I probably cried to get out of it, but my mother and my second favorite teacher had hearts of stone. They went fake tears, of course. I was genuinely terrified of speaking and worse, performing, in front of the entire grade school. On a stage. Like an oral exam with everyone watching.
I studied words like mad. I did not want to fail publicly. I didn't even want to win; I just didn't want to fail.
The day came, and I got through six rounds. There were only twelve of us left, though I don't remember how many we numbered at the beginning. I walked up to the microphone and heard the word "buffalo." Easy enough. I was so nervous I blurted letters without thinking. "B-u-f-f-l-o."
I turned to sit down, assuming I'd spoken correctly. Nope. I was out. I couldn't believe I'd gotten out on "buffalo." Shame on the house of McGarrahs! All my fears were confirmed. Everyone would forever think of me as an idiot, and no one would ever want me to make signs for zoo animals.
This experience was so traumatizing that, in addition to remembering so many details about that day fifteen years ago, I completely learned my lesson. When the middle school geography bee cropped up in seventh grade, I made sure I missed enough answers on the qualifying test to insure I still looked smart but wouldn't pass me through to the public competition.
A lifetime of slacking and avoiding the spotlight was firmly established.
When I was in fourth grade, Mrs. Carter told me she wanted me to be in the spelling bee. I said no thank you. She said she would talk to my mom. When I got home, I received a lecture on the importance of doing things you don't want to do, because that's how it works in the Real World. What a horrible image of growing up. No wonder I still recoil at the idea of being an adult.
I probably cried to get out of it, but my mother and my second favorite teacher had hearts of stone. They went fake tears, of course. I was genuinely terrified of speaking and worse, performing, in front of the entire grade school. On a stage. Like an oral exam with everyone watching.
I studied words like mad. I did not want to fail publicly. I didn't even want to win; I just didn't want to fail.
The day came, and I got through six rounds. There were only twelve of us left, though I don't remember how many we numbered at the beginning. I walked up to the microphone and heard the word "buffalo." Easy enough. I was so nervous I blurted letters without thinking. "B-u-f-f-l-o."
I turned to sit down, assuming I'd spoken correctly. Nope. I was out. I couldn't believe I'd gotten out on "buffalo." Shame on the house of McGarrahs! All my fears were confirmed. Everyone would forever think of me as an idiot, and no one would ever want me to make signs for zoo animals.
This experience was so traumatizing that, in addition to remembering so many details about that day fifteen years ago, I completely learned my lesson. When the middle school geography bee cropped up in seventh grade, I made sure I missed enough answers on the qualifying test to insure I still looked smart but wouldn't pass me through to the public competition.
A lifetime of slacking and avoiding the spotlight was firmly established.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Roller Coasters
Setting: Turkish restaurant in Dallas, TX. Liz and I sit on one side of a table, across from a former Journeygirl to Turkey and her friend. They are on their way to a New Years Eve wedding.
Liz: I like the idea of having a huge long party after the wedding, because you'll never get to have all your favorite people in one place again.
Me: Yeah! A giant sleepover.
Friends: Um, but what about...
Liz and Me: Psh. You've waited that long to have sex. One more night won't hurt.
Friends: *dubious*
Married Friend: Sex is like a roller coaster. It's big and scary, and you're torn between wanting to ride it and being too scared. But then you get in line, and the longer you're in line the more exciting it gets. By the time it's your turn, you've waited so long that you are determined to ride that roller coaster no matter what!
Liz: That is a perfect comparison.
Me: But...I don't ride roller coasters.
Liz: I like the idea of having a huge long party after the wedding, because you'll never get to have all your favorite people in one place again.
Me: Yeah! A giant sleepover.
Friends: Um, but what about...
Liz and Me: Psh. You've waited that long to have sex. One more night won't hurt.
Friends: *dubious*
Married Friend: Sex is like a roller coaster. It's big and scary, and you're torn between wanting to ride it and being too scared. But then you get in line, and the longer you're in line the more exciting it gets. By the time it's your turn, you've waited so long that you are determined to ride that roller coaster no matter what!
Liz: That is a perfect comparison.
Me: But...I don't ride roller coasters.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
We Can Shape but Can't Control
My Dallas adventures with Liz could mostly be summarized with the words food, drink, and movies. We made homemade chicken alfredo; we ate at cute cafes; we snuck M&Ms into a movie theater so we could have our classic popcorn with M&M snack; I had a delicious Jamba Juice smoothie. We drank coffee every morning and afternoon from either Liz's apartment or an assortment of coffee shops; we drank wine at night, which funnily enough, is not good in combination with Nyquil. When you almost fall asleep to the hilarious Bridesmaids, something is wrong. We watched a quadrillion movies and TV shows late into every night. I made her watch Doctor Who, and she made me watch Friday Night Lights. We went to see My Week with Marilyn on Sunday afternoon.
Of course my favorite thing was talking to Liz. She is so encouraging and hilarious, and a wonderful friend. She also likes to educate me musically, so nearly every hour she would appear with her laptop and say, "Okay, this is my favorite song by So And So. Listen to the words!" I would listen, and inevitably gasp at some profound lyric (like Mumford & Sons' "Hold on to what you believe in the light when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight") and she would jump around in excitement at my revelation.
The musical education started before I ever got to Dallas. Liz wanted to see the band Seryn (for the fifth time, I later found out), but I had never heard them. I bought the CD to study up, and liked them a lot. But I'm not familiar with concerts. So when we got to this little club at 8:00 p.m. and stood for half an hour amongst a couple hundred other people while no music was being played, I got kind of peeved.
Seryn wasn't even first to perform. First there was some slob guy who I immediately judged. And then took it all back when he started singing. OH MAN he was so good. Just a guy and his guitar, singing honestly about doubts and failures and desires. He had this lidded eyes that looked almost lazy, but were also entrancing. Seriously, I think he cast a spell on the place. We were riveted for the whole hour he sang. Also he was hilarious, deadpanning one-liners in between songs. I definitely had a crush on him by the end of his set.
After him another band came on, but I was very not into them. I couldn't understand the singer, and I was tired of standing. I counted each song and guessed how many more there'd be before Seryn. However, when they were done, it took another half hour before Seryn was all set up. Which makes sense, because each of the five band members play at least four or five instruments, often all in the same song.
Seryn came on around 11:00, and the next hour blew my head off. THEY ARE SO GOOD. Each one of them is a fantastic musician, and together they make the most beautiful and haunting music. They had some technical difficulties with mic static, and the girl quipped, "We'll probably use that as an instrument in our next album." It's funny because it's true. They were all the most adorable people, and after they finished, we begged for an encore. It was already midnight, but they agreed, and basically just had a jam session where they made stuff up on the spot and sounded awesome. I'm in love with them, and now I understand why Liz has gone to see them five times.
I met a bunch of Liz's friends. One of them came with us to Seryn's concert. A couple days later we went to her house for a party, and I met about twenty more people while playing Apples to Apples. On Saturday we ate at a Turkish restaurant with a girl who went to FPO with Liz.
And of course, we rang in 2012 together! That was the night of our homemade meal and fancy wine. We stopped Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day at 11:56 and ran to the roof of her apartment complex to watch fireworks explode over the Dallas skyline.
It was a pretty rad weekend. I want to fly to Texas all the time.
Of course my favorite thing was talking to Liz. She is so encouraging and hilarious, and a wonderful friend. She also likes to educate me musically, so nearly every hour she would appear with her laptop and say, "Okay, this is my favorite song by So And So. Listen to the words!" I would listen, and inevitably gasp at some profound lyric (like Mumford & Sons' "Hold on to what you believe in the light when the darkness has robbed you of all your sight") and she would jump around in excitement at my revelation.
The musical education started before I ever got to Dallas. Liz wanted to see the band Seryn (for the fifth time, I later found out), but I had never heard them. I bought the CD to study up, and liked them a lot. But I'm not familiar with concerts. So when we got to this little club at 8:00 p.m. and stood for half an hour amongst a couple hundred other people while no music was being played, I got kind of peeved.
Seryn wasn't even first to perform. First there was some slob guy who I immediately judged. And then took it all back when he started singing. OH MAN he was so good. Just a guy and his guitar, singing honestly about doubts and failures and desires. He had this lidded eyes that looked almost lazy, but were also entrancing. Seriously, I think he cast a spell on the place. We were riveted for the whole hour he sang. Also he was hilarious, deadpanning one-liners in between songs. I definitely had a crush on him by the end of his set.
After him another band came on, but I was very not into them. I couldn't understand the singer, and I was tired of standing. I counted each song and guessed how many more there'd be before Seryn. However, when they were done, it took another half hour before Seryn was all set up. Which makes sense, because each of the five band members play at least four or five instruments, often all in the same song.
Seryn came on around 11:00, and the next hour blew my head off. THEY ARE SO GOOD. Each one of them is a fantastic musician, and together they make the most beautiful and haunting music. They had some technical difficulties with mic static, and the girl quipped, "We'll probably use that as an instrument in our next album." It's funny because it's true. They were all the most adorable people, and after they finished, we begged for an encore. It was already midnight, but they agreed, and basically just had a jam session where they made stuff up on the spot and sounded awesome. I'm in love with them, and now I understand why Liz has gone to see them five times.
I met a bunch of Liz's friends. One of them came with us to Seryn's concert. A couple days later we went to her house for a party, and I met about twenty more people while playing Apples to Apples. On Saturday we ate at a Turkish restaurant with a girl who went to FPO with Liz.
And of course, we rang in 2012 together! That was the night of our homemade meal and fancy wine. We stopped Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day at 11:56 and ran to the roof of her apartment complex to watch fireworks explode over the Dallas skyline.
It was a pretty rad weekend. I want to fly to Texas all the time.
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