My friend Lindsay from DTS texted me awhile ago and said she had a book she thought I would like. When we went out to eat the other night, she brought the book, and guys, I definitely read the whole thing today. It's a memoir blog-turned-book, and everything this woman says is so much of how I see myself and who I want to be. Imma review it all proper over on my book review blog, but I had to share a portion that made my jaw drop because of the uncanny ability she has to read my thoughts.
"Still, I was afraid to join this new church. Because I don't want to pretend to believe anything I don't believe. I don't want to pretend to not have doubts...Before I joined any church, I needed permission from whomever was in charge to be different.
So I invited one of the ministers over to my house.
I was scared.
...I told her that I love Jesus madly and deeply, but my problem always seemed to be that I understand him quite differently than many other Christians do. And I love these other Christians, so I didn't want to offend them. I suggested that maybe it was better for me to remain unattached to any particular church rather than disrupt a perfectly lovely one.
I explained that I had all kinds of doubts and questions and negative feelings about the church's role throughout history. But I told her I still loved the church. I felt kind of like St. Augustine, who said, 'The church is a whore, but she's my mother.' If I were to become a member of her church, I would need permission to speak my mind respectfully but freely. I would need permission to be myself."
Oh, and the book is Carry On, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed by Glennon Doyle Melton.
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