From This Thought to That

1)  You know that moment of sweet relief when you admit something that you feel is so strange, and everyone says, "Oh I do that too!"?  Well, it's very strange for the opposite to happen, to assume that your experience is universal and then to suddenly find out that it is not.  Turns out everyone did not go through the suicidal teenage thing?  I thought that was a thing. 

2)  I used to buy swimsuits in an attempt to cover up as much skin as possible.  Now there are ominous strapless dresses looming in my future and the repetitious "no tan lines!" echoing in my head, so I'm stuck emailing Liz pictures of me in the dressing room with the caption "what the hell is the difference between swimwear appropriate and slutty??"

3)  I don't actually like the word slutty.  I don't like slut-shaming, and the idea that women, and how they choose to dress, are responsible for the actions of men.  Slut-shaming is a very short step away from victim-blaming, and no matter what a woman is wearing, she's not asking to be raped.  Let's put our focus on teaching boys to respect women and NOT RAPE THEM rather than teaching women how not to get raped.

4)  I freaking love Michal Ann, because she sends me links to feminist things, and we talk about it, and it's this huge part of my life that so few people share.  Share entirely, I mean.  The Interwebs and my brother are huge feminists, and I love that, but Michal Ann is my Christian feminist buddy who sees Jesus affirming the equality of women and loving the way the Bible tells the narratives of women and gives us dignity and sadness and purpose.  I want her to stop being in Turkey and start being in Texas.

5)  Amy and Liz are having a garage sale tomorrow, and they're selling a bunch of stuff, and this means there is only one more week in which they will be living here.  I'm not thinking about this.  I'm not thinking about it so hard that I work and sulk and hole up in my room and distract myself with books and schoolwork and TV shows.  It's funny how long it took for me to realize that a major source of my flirtation with depression was Liz leaving.  But I'm not going to think about that, because denial is a wonderful skillset.