The story I want to tell is very short and necessitates a massive amount of backstory. I'm pretty sure this is the worst way to tell a story, but I'm also pretty sure I can't be bothered to care.
FLASHBACK
So in April, I fangirled over a magician who chose me to tie him up in a straightjacket, and promptly hired him for our Summer Reading Program. He was our last performance in June. He showed up two hours early and talked with me nearly that whole time. Later that night he Facebook friended me (ooo la la) and invited me to be his date to a movie premiere. I was enormously flattered, since he is the first person to ever ask me out, but also massively freaked out, because he is the first person to ever ask me out.
I played for time, told him I wouldn't give him an answer until I returned from Mongolia, and left my blog in plain view for him to read if he chose to stalk me further. While driving through the Mongolian countryside, I decided I would tell him no, for various reasons. But when I got back, he had already unfriended me on Facebook. I can only assume he either a) disliked my frequent mentionings of God, b) disliked my frequent mentionings of bathrooms, or c) found a hotter librarian.
END FLASHBACK
Today my boss and I had a bit of a girly chat. She asked if I had heard back from "that magician guy" and I explained the situation to her. She paused, then said she didn't envy me. If her husband died, she said, she didn't think she would try to date and get remarried.
I nodded as she voiced my insecurities and hesitations. "Mmhm, Mmhm," I thought. "Dating and commitment are far too scary! You are so right."
"It's a different world from when I was dating. All the diseases! There are so many diseases to worry about now."
Diseases!? I have never once worried about diseases! Ugh. One more thing to add to my awkward conversation with prospective husbands: "Excuse me, but do you mind if I love God more than you? And can you guarantee me privacy at least for thirty minutes every day, maybe more? How about geekery? Can you handle the fact that I will never find you as sexy as David Tennant? Oh, and by the way, what diseases do you carry around in your private bits?"
Oh man, just kidding. That imaginary conversation has completely changed the point of this post. I have now decided that DATING WILL BE SO FUN.
I just laughed REALLY hard out loud. That last paragraph was hysterical. Whew. I thought that was too funny.
ReplyDeleteIf you actually follow through with the questions, dating will indeed be a lot of fun, and will probably happen at least once every 10 years!
ReplyDeletehahahaha the last paragraphs were so funny that I had to read them to my roommate so that she wouldn't think I was crazy for laughing out loud at seemingly nothing..."private bits"...hahaha
ReplyDeleteLearning that April 2011 was the first time you were asked out makes me very disappointed in my fellow men. Based on what I know of you from interactions at church, as well as observing how you interact with others, the activities you participate in, and your interests, you would be a great catch for any guy. You are intelligent, beautiful, caring, eclectic in your interests, having a great sense of humor, and are a woman after God's heart. Assuming that marriage is part of God's plan for you, I am confident he has a great guy picked out for you. Best of luck in your journey to find the one meant for you.
ReplyDelete