I figured I would have mentioned this already, as it's fairly important, but I haven't! So here it is: I am genuinely happy to be in Peoria. I like my life right now. I'm not itching to leave.
I think my realization in Mongolia that I'm still in the waiting phase of missions did me wonders. With the possibility of "but maybe" hanging over my head, I could never really settle here. Just a simple brain click, and there it is.
It also helps that I have a friend at work, that I have kind of a lot of friends again, that I'm watching an awesome TV show, that I enjoy my job, that I've realized I can travel a lot by flying all over the US, and that God helps my fears.
And that's a fun story. The day I got back from Mongolia/Chicago, I actively stopped reading my Bible and praying. For no reason. I just didn't want it. And that whole first week, I would go to bed terrified that someone was going to break into my room and hurt me (no doubt influenced by conversations with Gany and Kim). But here's the thing--I thought, I bet if I read my Bible before sleeping, I wouldn't be so scared. And then I would think, "Meh, I don't care. I don't want to read it so there." Because I'm stupid and obstinate.
Finally after a week, I cent stand it anymore, and I got back into reading my Bible morning and night and praying. And I haven't been scared since. Weird.
So yeah, life is good. I love being happy.
Tricia, I am very glad that you are happy! Life is what you make of it, and for some folks that little "brain click" never happens and they are unhappy. It sounds like you have turned a major corner. "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it" ...this is what pleases God, that we rejoice and be glad for what He has given us today.
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