I Have More Kindred Spirits Than I Know What To Do With

Today I know two things:

1)  God loves me.  Individually, like he cares specifically for my mental and emotional wellbeing.
2)  God wants me to go into missions.

Why do I know these things?  Because it is hard to live post-college.  At Union, I could have crazy awesome conversations about serving God and following Him around the world any night of the week with anyone who crossed my path.  I was surrounded by people who were being called into the same lifestyle that I was.  Now I am surrounded by married people and young people and people who are pursuing careers.  Which is fine for them, if that is what God wants for them.  But it can be subtly discouraging for me.

But!  To keep me from losing focus entirely, God sends people along to remind me of what I love, and to refill me with a passion for going to all the world to make disciples for the greatest God ever.  Right when I got back from Senegal, He sent Megan Sage.  Then there was Gany.  And today there was Rebekah Warner.

Rebekah was one of those baby-friends, and I remember liking her in preschool.  But then she moved to Japan, and when  she came back to the States, it wasn't to Peoria.  She went to Music Camp with me in 6th grade, but I don't remember why.  And that is probably the last time I saw her.

But in an awesome God move, she sent a letter to our family asking for support because she is going to South Africa for three years, and she needs money.  I contacted her, and today we met up, because WE ARE THE SAME PERSON.

We met at Starbucks at 10:30, and when I finally looked at my cell phone, two whole hours had flown by.  God is so good--talking to her was exactly what I needed.  She shares so many of my thoughts, about loving cultures, about wanting to live radically where finances are concerned, about wanting true Christianity, not something tainted by American culture or entitlement or self.  It was so good to hear her say my thoughts, and to think, "Yes!  That's why I feel this way!  We can do great things for God!  We are meant to stick out, to look completely ridiculous to the world."

And it was so wonderful to be able to share my experience with someone and pass on a bit of wisdom.  I could tell her about culture shock and getting used to being the only white face in a crowd.  It's so nice to know that God is still using my time in Senegal to help others.

But the best part.  Rebekah said, "I mean, it's really the easy way out.  Living in Africa?  That's where it's easiest to trust God and love Him and tell people about Him.  Staying in America and getting a job?  That would be hard.  Being a radical Christian and avoiding the American dream?  That's hard.  I'd much rather be a missionary."

Yes yes yes you are reading my thoughts.  And then she absolutely healed my heart.  I have had such little confidence in my life ever since some people told me I'd done things wrong, and am currently doing things wrong.  And I don't think I am.  I really think God told me to stop applying to missions programs.  I think being patient and waiting for God to open doors is incredibly important and hard and sanctifying.  But now I've got voices in my head telling me I'm wrong, that I should be more proactive, that I'm a failure.

But Rebekah stopped and told me, "You're doing the hard part.  I'm definitely going to be praying for you, because it's amazing that you are waiting.  You're living in America even though you have a passion for missions, and that is way harder than what I'm doing."

My word, I'm going to cry.  Stupid.  But it was so....just....it was exactly what my soul needed to hear.  God wants me to go into missions, and I am keeping my ears and my heart open for the moment when He says yes.  But I know that already I am learning a lot of lessons here in Peoria.  I'm learning to love kids, to plan events, to teach, to mentor, to love people I don't necessarily love.  God is preparing me for the service I will do sometime, somewhere.  I am waiting.  And it's so nice to have someone understand that it is HARD to be in America when all I want is to be somewhere else.

I'm so glad God let me have one of Rebekah's mornings.  I think she's going to be absolutely brilliant in South Africa, and I hope we will be friends on and off in this lifetime.  I can't wait to hear about all her adventures.  I can't wait to have adventures myself, but I know that God's timing is better than mine.