Psalm 139

On Sunday, David told me that he'd tried to get his Sunday School class to memorize Scripture with him, but they kind of just walked out the door.  Since I have been off my memorizing game for the last five months, I told him I'd do it.  So we're memorizing Psalm 139, which is awesome, because Wendy likes to talk about it a lot.  And when she talks about it, she glows, the way she does when she talks about Aslan or the romance of Jesus or personal gifts from God.

I wanted that glow, but for the first few verses it was just rote memorization.  Disappointing.  But then I got to verse 5, and that was it.  That was the Word being alive, and speaking exactly to me exactly what I need to hear at this exact time in my life.  You hem me in--behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

God has hemmed me in behind and before...my past and my present.  Why do I constantly, agonizingly worry about the future?  Why do I imagine that there are limitless possibilities from which I can choose?  (Oh yeah, because my generation was fed on the lies! lies! of "you can be whatever you want to be.")  But regardless of potential or experience or placement...I have a God who is hemming me in before, who is guarding my future and who is directing my steps, and the steps of everyone around me.

My word, this is freedom!  I get a taste of it every now and then, and it's so good.  I wish I could hold on to it, but I know I'll get sucked into this world's anxiety and slavery again.  For now, though, I am enjoying the knowledge that God is in control of my life.  If I live within his moral will, He will move me like His own arm, and I don't have to worry.

From there, the beginning of the psalm came alive too.  God has searched me and He knows me...He is familiar with all my ways....and yet He still hems me in?  He still places His hand upon me?  What a glorious, undeserving thought!  Truly, truly, such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain!

Oh man, good stuff.  God, it's like You're talking to me and giving me words all at the same time.  You are awesome.  I'm so glad I'm back in the memorizing game.  Taking the time to meditate and repeat Scripture can only lead to AWESOME.  And I am all about increasing the awesome in my life, which inevitably means increasing the God in my life.