Hunter or Hunted

I told a friend about my dating exploits over Christmas, and she asked, "Aren't you worried about being the hunter?"

And.  Well, I'm going to use "pursuer" instead of "hunter" because the latter makes me think of aggression and killing.  That is not how I want a relationship to go, no matter who initiates things.  So.  Pursuer.  Do I hate being the pursuer?

No.

For one thing, I'm convinced there is no "biblical" way to date.  People didn't even date in the Bible.  I think there are overarching themes of gentleness and kindness and respect that ought to be applied to dating relationships just as in all relationships.  I'm also not convinced of any specific "biblical womanhood" or "biblical manhood."

So what to do if the rules are laid out plainly in Scripture?  Find truth in experience and prayer, and trust in God's grace to cover any mistakes.

With all that in mind, I allowed myself to wonder, "Would I rather be pursued or to pursue?"  And honestly, neither sounds great.  I don't want to pursue someone, and constantly be asking them out or telling them I like them, and only ever receive similar affection secondarily.  But I also do not want to be eternally pursued.  If someone is always asking me out and I never initiate something, it's because I do not feel strongly about that person!

In summary, I want a relationship in which I am both the pursuer and the pursued.  I think those roles should be interchangeable, and that context determines someone's actions more than gender.  I want someone who will both initiate and respond.

So no, I am not worried about being the hunter.  If that were always the case, yes.  But no one-time event is determinative.