Breathing

You know anti-sighs? When you're chillaxing, and all of a sudden you breathe in super hard? I'm sure there's a biological reason for that, but I don't want to know it. What I think happens is this:

Your brain sees that not very much of it is needed, because you're spacing out to Youtube videos or whatever, so all that excess brainspace goes to solving cures for cancer. Upon seeing that your body didn't realize that the brain was occupied with super important things, it diverts instinctive brainspace toward creating 43 different ways to avert nuclear war.

But, you know, instinctive brainstuff is kinda necessary for living, and your relaxed body can only go so long without oxygen. When your brain realizes that you are about to die, it freaks out and forces a massive breath into your lungs, startling your body into awareness. But your brain feels so bad about nearly killing you that as punishment, it wipes all those brilliant things from its data banks.

So good job, couch potatoes! Your inattention to breathing has caused people to die of cancer!

This science lesson brought to you by a total expert.