Was I Effective in Sengal?

Three posts in one day! I still hold to the fact that I have creative bipolar disorder, and this is a sure sign that I am hitting my mania stage.

But this post is not going to be so much manic as it will be introspective. Because before I regained my optimism and happiness, I spent a good while being really blegh and semi-depressed. The imminent arrival of my replacements in Fatick got me thinking of all the ways they will be more awesome and more effective than me. I thought about how much God, the Forsythes, and Holly would like them more than me. I was pretty confident Liz would still love me best. (I am always torn between wanting her to be happy and love her new roommates while simultaneously wandering around our house, tearing her hair, pouring ashes on her head, and bemoaning my absence.)

Anyway, all my insecurities prompted me to evaluate my time in Senegal. So here goes.

First, I think it bears noting that this was the first time I lived in a different culture for an extended period of time. A culture that I actively disliked before I even arrived. So I think the fact that I went from dreading leaving the house to visit people to actually enjoying and looking forward to seeing my friends is a huge accomplishment.

I'm going to quote Liz here, because I think she perfectly described this in her goodbye letter to me. It feels slightly....voyeuristic to share from that awesome letter, but this part is not so personal and lovely. "I loved getting to see Senegal, and Fatick, and everyone we met just slowly but surely win you over. I remember one day we were on the moto and you like sighed and said that you were going to miss it here, and my little heart just got so happy. I loved getting to see all your Senegalese friends give you gifts and yell at you to stay."

Relatedly, I think I did an awesome job of expanding the number of contacts the Forsythes and Liz and Holly have to build on relationally. While Liz took care of the established English clubs, I met with four students and started talking to them about the Bible. I don't think they are anywhere near understanding or wanting to know Jesus, but I planted those seeds. I'm incredibly proud of that, and I'm excited to see Liz and Holly, and now Mallory, and soon the new Hands On girls take those relationships, grow them, and branch out from them.

I made friends with Lamba, Mame Codou, Bigue, and Sylvia all on my own. I find that rather incredible, considering I was only there for five months, it took me three months to feel comfortable in Fatick, and there was a very small percentage of my day in which I wasn't with Liz. I felt like such a native, such a success, when I was the one who invited Liz to hang out with my new friend. I never expected that to happen.

And speaking of feeling like a native, it was so awesome to get to the point where I could go out on my own, travel to the other side of town by walking or by moto taxi, and manage completely by myself. Honestly, getting lost was something of a triumph for me. It necessitated asking strangers where my friends lived, or where I could buy phone credit. I had to greet and carry on (short) conversations with everyone I passed.

Which brings me to language. Yeah, I wish I'd prepared for the trip better. I don't know why it didn't sink in that I was going to a French speaking country until I got there and discovered that that meant, actually, people spoke French instead of English. I hope next time I'm in a similar situation that I will be more proactive in acquiring the language.

But I'm proud of what I accomplished. I went to Senegal knowing no French besides "bonjour" and absolutely no Sereer or Wolof. I had ten days of French lessons before being left to my own devices to learn three new languages, and I am neither a self-starting learner nor very interested in languages. But I left being able to carry on a stilted conversation in French. I could buy things in the market and haggle in French. I could hail a cab and direct the driver in French. I learned greetings in Wolof and Sereer, as well as a smattering of other random words. I even learned a few words in Pular and Japanese. I think that's quite good for my first time living outside the United States.

Most of all, I think I was effective in being an encouragement to the long term missionaries in Fatick. That was my goal going in, anyway. I knew that there was only so much I could do in five months. I like to think that I encouraged the Forsythes and Holly, but I am positive that I encouraged Liz. Our morning breakfasts were awesome, and we both grew in our understanding of God. We talked about Him and how His world works a huge amount of the time.

Yes, we had fun. We made dance videos. We watched TV shows. When we were in Dakar, we chose restaurants that were delicious because it was the only time we could eat without preparing the food for an hour or more beforehand. But I think those fun times were just as encouraging as our spiritual discussions. I know that Liz had been lonely before I came, living by herself on the other side of Fatick. I think being a Christian community, of loving and fellowshipping with one another, is a vital part of being a Christian. I think the simple act of living together, of entertaining each other, was an important part of why God sent me to Fatick.

Do I have regrets? Of course. I wish I had prayed for people explicitly. I wish when people asked me why I was there, I jumped to tell them about how much I love Jesus and I followed Him to Fatick because He asked me to.

But again, when I think about who I was before going--I mean, I've always been awful at evangelizing. I am a painfully self-conscious person. I'm obsessed with what people think of me, and that makes it very difficult to share my faith with people when I'm not sure how they will react. But by the time I left Senegal, I had shared my faith in front of little children and teachers during an Operation Christmas Child project. I had shared Bible stories with high school students, and talked to them about how awesome my God is, and I gave them Bibles to keep and to read.

Overall, I think my first venture into missions was a success. I think God sent me there for a reason, and I am confident that He is proud of me. I am pleased by the progress I made, emotionally, intellectually, culturally, and most importantly, spiritually. I grew a lot in Fatick. Whatever failings I had, I give them up. I'm not going to beat myself up for not being the best. I got better while I was there, and I am proud of the work that God did in my life. I am convinced that the only feeling I need to have about my failings is excitement, because I'm confident that those are the things God will tackle in the future.