Senegal has been all up in my face this week. I had a meeting on Wednesday for our trip in November. SO EXCITED. I talked to Liz on skype, and I love those conversations that explode with excitement and maintain the same intensity for an hour. I miss my kindred spirit. I ate breakfast at Lindsay's, and we talked about how she may or may not be a missionary in Senegal someday. Tonight the Forsythes called me but I didn't have my phone, and when I called back, Kim and the three youngest kids were watching a movie at 11:30 p.m. I love their awesomeness.
I just very much miss them. I guess I've hit that point where I am used to America, and the novelty and air conditioning is wearing off. I've been away from Fatick long enough to know what I'm missing, and I no longer have vacations to distract me (well, until the 26th).
I want to go back. Listening to what Liz is doing made me positively ache to join her. I even want to lug those horrible gas bottles around town, if that's what it takes. I miss the kids. I miss Nate and his hilarious sense of smirky humor. I miss Melody and her adorable habit of being the most kind and considerate hostess I've ever met under the age of 10. I miss Ethan and his weird combination of little manly man who cries at movies and TV shows. I miss Mbagnik and his cuddlyness. I miss Kim, who even on the phone seemed to be pulling at me to emotionally vomit all over her. I mean that in the best way, because I used to tell her all my life plans, and she would advise me and love me while cracking jokes and loving Jesus.
*sigh*
After Turkey, Erin started using LOST to voice our emotions, claiming that "We have to go back!" perfectly summed up our trip. I think I'm going to have to hijack that statement and make it apply to Senegal too.
I'll pray.
ReplyDeleteBill
I am an American. I am not perfect; I have several faults. Some of these I am working on and some I probably do not even recognize as faults. I am proud to be an American, and maybe pride is one of the things that I should be working on.
ReplyDeleteBut there is a difference between an American and America, our country. I do not feel that my shortcomings as an individual American should make others think badly about my country, America. But I know that it does and that is why I must be careful in all my actions as an American, wherever I am or wherever I go.
There are many things in America’s past for which I am not proud. The treatment of the Black people as slaves; the forceful “relocation” of the Native Americans; the Civil War, which was certainly not “civil”. I wish these things had not happened. That they did happen makes me want to weep.
But America has tried to make amends for these ‘mistakes’. Granted, some Americans are still ‘more free’ than others, but I feel that she is trying. There may be disagreements as to whether our efforts are aimed in the right way, but surely an open-minded outsider looking at America should be able to see that she is trying.
America of 2010 should not be blamed for what she did 150 to 200 years ago, anymore than I should be blamed for my father’s loss of his hand in a careless hunting accident when I was a child. I was not there and have no responsibility for what happened. I was always sorry that it happened, but it was not my fault. But my father went on from that point and worked and earned a living for his family. Of course he always wished that it had not happened, but he went on and tried to overcome, and he was respected for doing that. Likewise, I believe America has tried to ‘overcome’ for her past faults.
I do not claim that America is Christian. I wish it was so, but I know that it is not. But America displays many Christian characteristics. She has shown love and concern where others have sat by with closed eyes. She has tried to provide for those in need within her own borders. She has been among the first to take relief to those who suffer in others parts of the world. She has sacrificed the lives of thousands of her people (Americans) to stop the torture and killings around the world. She has sent messengers with Christ’s good news all around the world.
Again, I am proud to be an American. If people look at me and think badly of me for what happened before I was born, I believe they are looking with closed eyes. If they look at me and see only my selfishness and pride and ego, it hurts me; it hurts me for myself and it hurts me for them.
I am trying to do better. I need the help and prayers and support of all of my fellow Americans. And I need their understanding that I am trying.
Tricia, forgive me for using your blog to rant! I love you.... much!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's no problem at all, Grandpa. I would say that I think we are arguing different things. I thought I made it clear in my own rant that I do not think all of America is awful. What I mostly don't like is American culture, and I pointed out some specific things there. My dislike of America as a country (and really, I have a hard time separating culture from country, because is that possible?) comes from people who are obnoxious and think America is just the best country in the whole world in every way possible. That is narrow minded and prideful.
ReplyDeleteAnd anyway, I don't mind you using my blog to rant, but you can always make your own blog and say whatever you want without fear of condemnation! Or, you know, theoretically you can.
Tricia, your comments about America bothered me, and I wrote a few things about it to a friend. I needed to vent I guess. After some reflection, I think I really ought to say the same things directly to you, so here goes:
ReplyDelete"She is a very nice lady, and I am very fond of her, but I am afraid she really doesn't have a clue as to what most of us have gone through and are going through. Life is pretty simple when someone else pays your bills and buys your food. It gives you time to ponder deep philosophical things like the distastefulness of the American Dream and the materialism and jingoism of Americans, our social Christianity, our hypocrisy as to our history. There is truth in all this, but there is much falsehood as well. I won't go on a long lecture about American sins and virtues other than to acknowledge that we have and are erring, and will do so in the future, and none-withstanding all that, we offer more advantages to an ambitious person than any other country in the world. There is good reason why people are trying to get in, not out. Tricia's disdain for America bothers me. My son lies in the Indian Ocean, killed in 1988 in a Navy helicopter accident. Today is his birthday. We put fresh flowers on his grave site (he is not there, they did not recover his body) and a fresh flag. There is always an American flag and flowers at his grave site. He gave his life for America. As did thousands and thousands of others. This is not to be take lightly or scoffed at."
snip...
"My family stopped supporting me when I was 17 and ever since everything I had or have I got with my own sweat. I was 27 years old, married with one child when I started college, working nights and driving 80 miles each way to go to school. I think I have some appreciation for what is involved in the American Dream. People who just blow it off and haven't suffered and done without bother me."
snip...
"I was disappointed that she did not utilize the opportunities she had in Senegal. If she were serious about being a missionary in Africa, becoming fluent in French should have been her #1 objective, and that did not happen. From reading her blogs, (I love her ability to write!) I got the distinct impression that she pretty much wasted her time there, sleeping late, watching TV shows, visiting friends, making videos, touring Dakar, what have you. God put her in a place where she could have acquired many useful skills, but she let most of them slip on by. And all of us kept quiet to her about our concerns, myself included. I figured it was best to let it go, no reason to make her angry and it wouldn't accomplish anything anyway. Besides, she was doing foreign missions, right? We do not criticize that!"
snip...
So there you are, Tricia. As you once said in your blog from Senegal, honesty is refreshing. You are right, it is. It is also very, very hard to do.
I am still very fond of you, I just think you need to think things through a bit more, and be proactive instead of reactive. Decide what you want and then go do what you have to do to make it happen and quit waiting for God to hand it to you.
Tommy
Tricia, I don't need a blog... and nobody would read it if I had one.
ReplyDeleteI really hate to be critical. You went to Senegal and did a good work. We sometimes forget that the first thing that we must do to be a witness for Christ is to be a friend. You did this and that was good. You showed that you care about the people and by doing that showed Christ's love. I'll bet they will remember you! You also used Bible stories in teaching English. I know that you would have wanted to do more, and perhaps you could have if your stay had been longer. I know that you will be a good missionary, whether here or elsewhere, because of your friendliness, openness and willingness! God bless you. We agree on most things!!!
I really don't want to go into this again and again. The only thing I will say is that if my opinions offend you, you do not have to read my blog.
ReplyDeleteTricia,
ReplyDeleteI was disappointed with your reaction to Tommy's comment. He was giving his opinion just as you had given yours. You had just said to your grandpa that he could "rant" on your blog, but when Tommy gave you feedback you showed disregard for his opinion and for his feelings.
I hated to see that.
Emily