Every time I like a boy, I know exactly how he is God's choice for my future husband, why we were brought together at that time, how we will influence each other for the better, and why we complement each other the way we do.
After 23 years of this, because yes, I'm pretty sure I've had crushes on boys ever since I existed the womb, I am still doing the same thing. But years of realizing that former crushes did NOT turn into my husband has made me kind of jaded.
Basically, I am constantly at war with myself, thinking, "Oh, he's perfect! Psh, I've thought that before. But this! Please. There's no way this will happen."
It is a confusing place, my brain.
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