Kids Are Smarter Than We Think

Avoiding hypocrisy while raising children is difficult.  For instance, my policy on cussing is, "Don't say any word if you know it's going to offend someone."  That goes for the common curse words, but also "jerk" or "divorce" (which once nearly made Ketan cry).  Whenever Anju or Ketan get this sly look on their face and mention that some kid at school said something bad, I put on my non-reaction face and say, "Words are just words.  But if you know a word is going to upset someone, don't say it.  That's being kind."  And that's enough.

Last week I introduced them to my three soundtracks from the Very Potter musicals.  We started with Ron's sidekick song, which is hilarious and entirely without cursewords.  Then I played the quintessential "Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts," and my heart stalled when Harry and Ron said they were going to kick some ass.  Why the sudden freakout?  Best I can tell, because I was the one who had introduced this sentence into their lives.  As if I suddenly believed that words did matter.  Oh, hypocrisy.

Yesterday, Anju and I had the afternoon to ourselves because Ketan was at a school function.  She is in first grade, but reads at a fourth grade level.  This causes some annoyances at the library, because the books she is capable of reading are emotionally mature for her.

Anju:  This book is about middle school, and it's too old for me.
Me:  Oh yeah?  Why?
Anju:  She has a crush on this boy, and people say stuff like, "Hey, you're smokin' hot!"  No first graders say things like that.
Me:  How do you feel, reading something that's too old for you?
Anju:  I feel pretty confident.  I know I can read it, so that's good.  And I know that even though I'm reading something, I don't have to act that way.  So even though they have crushes and stuff, and go on dates, I know I'm too little for that.  Because it's a book, and it's fake.  I'm just reading it.  I don't have to do everything it talks about. 

Kids, man!  They're so smart!  I feel like this applies to the great Harry Potter debate, to cussing, to dating, to everything!  Six-year-olds are capable of understanding the difference between fiction and reality, and moreover, they are capable of understanding that not everything that exists or occurs is something that everyone ought to do.

So, good.  I feel like I was on the right track.  I'm not saying it's good to expose kids to extreme violence or porn, but I also don't think it's necessary to 100% shelter kids either.  They are able to work stuff out, especially with the help of an adult who is willing to discuss and explain rather than immediately shut off conversation with, "That's wrong!  Don't do it!"  Hopefully I manage to be that adult for them most of the time.