I'm mostly okay. Last night Jess asked if I wanted to watch The Bachelorette finale with her, and I agreed, because you don't turn down an invitation by a housemate you want to get along with. It was three hours long, and I am happily ashamed to admit that within five minutes, I was totally sucked into the reality TV romance. I like to think Jess and I are now super close to BFFdom. So the house front is good.
And I'm navigating Dallas alright. I have a few haunts already, and when I don't know where I am, my handy dandy phone GPS is there to save the day. There is a surprising lack of fast food restaurants within close proximity to my house, which led to an embarrassing display of emotion when I turned a wrong corner and came face to face with an Arby's. "Arby's! I've missed you!" Then I stared it down seductively, promising with my eyes to return at a later date.
The last time I was in Jackson, Jennie showed me this app on her phone that helps keep a budget. I set mine up last night, with absurdly low goals. I've already exceeded my "entertainment" quotient by going into Half Price Books to fill out an application. I had to wander the store, you know, to get a fill of where I might be working, and surprise! There are books there! And who has zero ability to turn down books? Me.
I found a $1 copy of Revolutionary Road, which is on Francis Prose's list of Books to Read. Then I saw a set of Narnia books, and I realized how silly it was that I had given away something I obviously would reread multiple times in the future. Finally I came across a British version of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. My heart stopped. I thought, "I have the American version. It is literally the same book but with a different cover. But maybe there is British slang. Maybe there are more instances of 'mum' or 'prat'. It could be such a different reading experience! And it's so pretty."
I'm actually a bit nervous about potentially working at Half Price Books. There will be books everywhere, all the time. At the library it was fine, because I could take whole stacks and they were free. Now I will buy them! Don't talk to me about, just don't buy them. Please. That is not an option.
It's kind of a smaller deal at this point, but I also did fill out an application. Then I went home, because the thought of working, of getting to know a new system, learn new skills, and interact with new people made me very tired. Maybe I'll apply somewhere else tomorrow.
It's not all yoga and books, though (yup, I did yoga this morning--p90x again, and I got through the Warrior 1 pose....a whole fifteen minutes, what a beast am I). I've been doing a pretty good job of blocking out my loneliness. Sometimes it comes out, though. I drove to Irving, TX to sit at a Starbucks and type. There was an interstate off ramp for Fort Worth, and my muscles all rebelled and decided to stop working. Memories of patting Roy's head outside Kimbell or sitting on the curb at the Stockyard with Nathan and Troy and David rushed into my head, and I didn't like it. I will never go to Grace Temple Baptist Church even though their pastor is basically Jim Donahue--I never want to go back to where I spent time with my Woodland family and said goodbye.
Liz comes back tonight, though. We will have adventures, and discuss The Fault in Our Stars, and use our movie theater coupons, and eventually things will get better. When in doubt, choose optimism, I guess.
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