Misty

Mom woke me up at 7:00 this morning to tell me that Misty had another stroke. Since her first back in February, we've been expecting another. She's gotten really old really quickly...she went deaf, her back legs have been giving out, and lately she had trouble controlling when she went to the bathroom. So I knew it was only a matter of time.

I went to see her, and she couldn't even drink water. She tried to stand up, and that set off the stroke vertigo like mad, so I had to hold her so she wouldn't fall over. Mom and Dad were getting ready to leave for Italy at 8:30, and we decided that when the vet came to get her, we would ask that she be put to sleep. I don't think she would have recovered enough to walk again, and probably she would have deteriorated even faster.

Even knowing that it was to save her future pain, it royally sucked. I held her and petted her for half an hour before the vet came. And then he took her away, and now she's dead. My little puppy.

She was thirteen years old. She was my first and so far only dog. She couldn't stand to be separated from us, and would follow one of us around the house so as not to be alone. She always greeted us at the door when we came home, even these last few months when it took her several moments to get to her feet. She begged for food, and she used to lay her head in our laps and look at us with big sad eyes if we didn't give her scraps. Before her legs were bad, she would lay in bed with my parents, and if they were gone, she would lay with me.

I was going to take care of her these next couple weeks, and I hate that I now have freedom. I'm so super grateful that this happened while my parents were around, but it means that the house is now unbearably empty.

Coming home sucks. I hate going into the kitchen, because she should be there, snuffling around and looking for food. She's not sprawled on the living floor anymore. I can't hug her or rub her ears or lay beside her and pet her.

I hate this.

I don't know if pets have a heaven, but I don't know why not. If we're going to spend eternity in a new earth, I would assume there will be animals. And if there are animals, why owuldn't God just use those that are already loved and missed?

Even if that's not the case, I'm so grateful that Misty existed for thirteen years. I'm so grateful that she was my dog. I couldn't have asked for a better one.