Joking about Virginity

One of the reasons I decided I might be well-equipped at counseling is that I'm fairly unshockable.  Of course, you can prove that statement wrong in any number of ways, but the thing is, I expect the worst of people.

That sounds awful, but it's tempered by my equal belief that people are awesome.  I believe we are all broken people who make stupid decisions and who act out our insecurities in harmful ways, but that it's kind of all okay because we all do it, and it all comes from a place of pain, and anyway, maybe if we talk about it, it will get better.

I think this makes me a good friend.  I was hanging out with someone lately, a friend from Dallas, and she was obviously in a bad mood.  She was hinting around at how she wished she had people with whom she could be real, how she hated that her small group at church never went deeper than "well, work is really stressful right now."  The two of us haven't really gone beyond hanging out and surface fun, and I knew we were on the cusp of going deeper.  She finally said,

"You know, when I first decided to go to DTS, I was positive I was the only student who wasn't a virgin."

"Obviously that is so not true."

"No, I know."

She stared at me.

"Oh, well I'm a virgin, but that's only because no one has ever asked me to have sex with them."

She burst out laughing, and we continued with our conversation, and we shared our frustrations and basically had a lovely, meaningful talk.  I'm sure if I'd only said that I was a virgin, even if I said it kindly, not judgmentally, she would have shut up.  But by being honest, by admitting that I wasn't a virgin because of my Stellar Character, that I have desires too, that I relate to her feelings if not her experience, well.  We could talk.  That's a lot to communicate in one joke, but then, I think humor carries a lot of weight.

I'm not sharing this to prove how awesome I am (although obviously, why do I share anything unless I want people to pay attention to me, hopefully positively?), but as advice.  We're all broken people who have been hurt and who have hurt others.  We all make stupid decisions.  The fastest way to heal one another, even just a little, is to listen to someone else's brokenness and expose your own.  Preferably with laughter, or maybe that's just me.