Encouragement

The best thing that happened at Emily and Joe's wedding (on a personal level) was when Susan Osborn pulled me aside before the reception.  "I've heard a rumor," she said, and my heart sank.  I assumed she was going to become another well-meaning Woodlander who said, "Are the boys chasing you?  No?  What's wrong with them?" thereby reminding me of my singleness in the form of a compliment, which confuses me emotionally.

I thought she would say something like that, but instead she said, "Are you thinking of becoming a sex therapist?"

"Oh, yes!" I said.  "A marriage counselor, really, but I definitely want to incorporate sex therapy into my practice.  I don't see how someone couldn't."

Susan looked straight at me.  "Well, I just want to tell you that I think you'll do a great job!  You have this disarming smile, and an easy way about you that I think will make people open up with you right away.  Before their first session is over, they'll have spilled everything they've never admitted to anyone else."

My shoulders fell.  "Susan.  That is exactly the thing I need to hear most right now.  Thank you."

Because the thing is, when I talk about marriage and sex counseling, I typically get rolled eyes or "of course Tricia would do that because she's weird" comments.  Earlier this weekend, I thought of something I wanted to ask Emily about the wedding night, and an adult called after me, "Just remember, you're giving advice from a textbook, not experience."

Ouch.  No wonder I spent so many years thinking I couldn't be a marriage counselor without first being married.  My professors have beat into our heads that we are equipped to counsel because we're learning how in graduate school, not because we've experienced everything in the world.  I believed it too, but hearing someone I admire tell me that my advice was somehow lesser because it did not come from my past set me back a few mental steps.

And then Susan, sweeping in with encouragement that is specific to who I am and how I deal with people.  It was so lovely and so needed.