Friday, February 25, 2011

I Hate Dichotomy!

Sometimes I am so happy, I get angry.

For instance, I am having a perfectly wonderful time here in Jackson.  TOO perfect.  I love staying with the Hughes family like duh.  I love going to Walmart and knowing where the cold medicine is.  I love having a friend who gives me coupons.  I love eating at Chick-fil-a.  I love sitting in Green Frog and talking to Ashley for hours.  I love walking along the planked walkways of Cypress Grove in the crisp air, then climbing three stories to a stand that overlooks the muddy lake and wintered trees. 

I love eating cupcakes.  I love recounting humiliating stories.  I love Dusty's sometimes hilarious quips, sometimes hilariously awful quips.  I love Jennie's bursts of laughter.  I love Seth being the simple dog.  I love Hannah's overactive facial expressions.  I love watching House with Ashley and knowing that she finds his bright blue-eyed stare just as attractive as I do.  I love sleeping in a gloriously comfy bed.

Most of all, I love evenings at the Hughes' house, when the kids are asleep and Jennie and Dusty and I crash on their living room couches.  I love that we all do our own thing (Dusty on his iPhone, me with my book, Jennie reading or on her laptop), but then watch a TV show or start a conversation or make a weird noise.  I love how two of us always mishears and miscommunicates, but the third person inevitably understands and translates.  I love how comfortable I am with them, how I don't bother to worry about smudged makeup or messy hair.  I love that they are my Jackson family.

And I hate that I don't see them often.  I hate that these visits, that slide into effortlessness, are deceptive.  This feels like home, but it isn't.  And that sucks.

*Also, I nearly ruined my sadness when I thought of that blog title.  Because who can remember Brett Erlich's hilarious Best Sledding Fails with anything but fondness?*

1 comment:

  1. A) It's horrible, isn't it? I feel the same way when I go to Jackson and see the Pflasterers. Though now it's been awhile, so maybe it won't feel that way next time? I don't know. But I do hope you continue to enjoy your Jackson family/life while you're there :-)

    B) I had never seen that video, so I watched it. I laughed a lot. My favorites are, "Don't leave the ground cause then the ground is all pissed" and "Why are you wearing a scarf? You need coldness to live!"

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