Thinking Thoughts Again

I am currently reading a truly awesome book called The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne.  I could probably write twenty posts about the things I am learning from it, but right now my passion is mostly very obnoxious, so I only expose my mom to my rants.

But one thing I have been coming back to lately is singleness.  In the book, Shane talks about people asking him why he is still single, and is he either a homosexual or a priest?  How sad that we are so unaccustomed to single people.  I can testify to that, because already the women of my church are scheming to get me hitched.  Apparently there is an attractive guy in the Internationals class (I've seen him, and he's very small), and two women said what he really needed was for me to speak English with him.  Really?  Me?  No one else speaks English?  And of course, I asked if he was a Christian, and they said, well, he seems nice.

I can only assume that at 22, it has become pathetic for me to be single.

Shane talks about how looking back through Christianity's past, many of the most influential Christ followers were single, were married fully to Jesus.  He says their lives would have looked different (not bad, just different) had they been married.  And he quotes Matthew 19: 12, in which Jesus says, "For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven.  The one who can accept this should accept it."

I want that kind of passion.  I have recently admitted that duh, of course I want to be loved, to dedicate my life to someone and to have them build me up and protect me and encourage me.  ...And that is exactly what I already have.  Why am I looking elsewhere when Jesus is already my husband?  How must He feel when I am looking for someone else to fulfill my needs?

What it comes down to is this:  Marriage can be a great thing.  Two can always accomplish more than one, and if God sends me someone who is passionate about changing the world for the better in the same ways that I am, then I would consider marriage. 

But that's the thing.  I will not change my relationship with God to fit into a relationship with a mere man.  I cannot imagine the horror that would come from covenanting my life to another person, then finding out that they are pulling me away from what I think God wants me to do. 

So I am renewed in my desire to live fully, to spend my singleness to the greatest possible degree, traveling freely and spending my time freely, unconstrained by anyone's rules or timetables but God's.  And that is awesome.  If I can grow up to be like Mother Teresa, then um, check!  Life: success.  And she didn't have a husband.  She had God, and He was all she needed, or wanted.