Our whole church is going through a study called r12, which is a marketing way of saying Romans 12. I think it will be pretty awesome, and I'm excited to be a Sunday School teacher, because I get to experience the material even though I can't go to one of the in-home studies.
Anyway, one of the questions we were supposed to discuss was "How have your dreams about the future changed since you were a kid?" with the purpose of then discussing what God might be dreaming for our lives. And oh my word, have my dreams done a 180 or what? In some places, my heart is still catching up with my head and my spirit, but still, the changes are happening.
All the way through high school, I had a very concrete picture of what my life would be. I would find a perfect man in college, and we would get married. I would have kids, and while my husband went off to work, I would stay home to be the perfect housewife. In my free time, I would write and eventually become a published author.
I thought this was a godly way to live my life. I thought this was THE godly way to live my life. And no doubt it is what God calls some people to do. But apparently not me! And honestly, thank goodness, because now the idea of living like that makes my skin crawl.
It's crazy how much God has changed me in the last couple years, and so sneakily! Do I still want to get married? Yes. But there is no great hurry, not when I get over my self-pity. But everything else....is so completely different. And I love it, because I just feel that everything I flippantly assert about myself, God rolls his eyes and says, "Little does she know..."
For instance. Growing up, there were two things I adamantly and loudly declared about myself.
1. I do not like kids!
(Clarification because people tend not to like my bold statements without disclaimers. I don't like kids in that when I see a kid, I don't get that melty insides thing that so many girls tend to get. If a kid is awesome, I will want to be around that kid. If a kid is annoying, I will avoid that kid. To me, kids are people, and they earn no special treatment just for being young. And don't get me started on babies. Sure, they're cuddly, but they're boring. Give me a kid with a personality, and then we'll talk.)
2. I will absolutely never ever be a teacher!
Honestly, my insides still jump to support those claims. And then I look at my life and say, oh.
I got back from Senegal, and what does God do? He throws a job in my lap which involves interacting and performing for kids on a daily basis. And He throws church jobs at me too--being a Sunday School teacher, and a Bible study teacher, and a missions teacher. Oh, what? Everything I do involves either kids or being a teacher.
When did this happen? When did I become okay with it?
And what is super exciting is that I think God is preparing me for something awesome in my future. Something I am growing into. Something I could not have imagined myself doing when I was a kid. Which is awesome.
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