There's been this certain thing weighing on my mind for awhile. It's one of those decisions between patiently waiting or acting assertively. Either could be good, and neither contradicts God's will. There are a lot of good things that would result from choosing either course of action, and a few bad things that will happen with either choice as well.
It's a really weird situation! Choosing between two equally viable but totally different options.
Maybe not so weird. A lot of life is like this.
Anyway, it got me thinking again about following God. Because essentially this decision hinges on whether I should wait for God to act, OR realizing that God uses people (including myself) to act. This choice between waiting or acting used to stress me out A LOT. And it still does, but I've learned a little since the last time this was a major concern (choosing between pursuing a missions job after Senegal or waiting in Peoria--obviously I chose waiting last time, and it worked out splendidly).
What I've learned is: I'm in the hands of a really big God. He already knows what I'm going to choose and how it's going to turn out. God is a God of redemption, who takes even stupid decisions and molds them into something beautiful. He can handle whatever I decide.
In some ways, it's helpful to think of myself as a little kid, riding around on a bike or playing in the woods or chasing classmates across the playground. I always felt so alone as a kid; not in a bad way, but just like, what I was doing was going unobserved. That was always the case until I fell off my bike or skinned my knee or whatever. Then an adult swooped in, and it turned out I had been watched the whole time.
God is kind of like that, I think. He's watching everything I do, and more than an adult, He can do more than just deal with the fallout. In some mysterious way, He acts and I act and in free will and God's authority, history is shaped. I don't pretend to know how God works in the wold, but I know that HE DOES. And I trust that whether or not I act or I wait, God will be there, constant in my life, still working things out for good and preparing me for the next time I'll need to either act or wait.
"And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, 'This is the way, walk in it,' when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left." Isaiah 30:20-21
ReplyDeleteSo there's this tension we walk in: waiting on God to act or making a decision and receiving affirmation of that decision after we have made it.
I don't say that to wrap it up into any conclusion, but to affirm your thoughts I guess.
That is a very necessary further thought: that when we act we get affirmation or a big NO. Like praying for doors to close as we try to walk through them.
DeleteI like that. Thanks for reminding me of even MORE of God's goodness and guidance!