On Sunday I had this feeling that it was time to stop being depressed, time to stop dreading church, time to stop purposefully dwelling on the people I don't have. I felt convicted that while my depression was valid at the beginning, I was now clinging to self-pity.
And....I'm no longer depressed? That sounds like absolute crazy talk, and to be fair, I'd been feeling better for longer periods of time anyway. But it was this sudden sweep of everything, all the darkness I'd been clinging to erased. Like windows thrown open, illuminating a room, I was back.
I honestly think it was God. I've been learning this week about how every part of salvation--justification, sanctification, and glorification--is accomplished by grace through faith. Everything good comes from God. I cannot work myself into a better person or a happier person or a holier person. God's Spirit transforms us. Learning this, looking back, I think a few days ago God prompted me, I agreed, and the Holy Spirit did His thing.
Very rarely do I experience immediate change. But I think this was one of those times. And it was so cool! Of course I'm still sad that I'm not experiencing a Woodland summer and that Liz is no longer my roommate, but I can remember now how great Dallas is, and look forward to new roommates, and most importantly, I trust my God just a little bit more.
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