Affirmation Service

I've not wanted to go to any part of Lay Ministry Weekend.  Even after a good time last night and this morning, I was reticent to go this evening.  Christina would say that is spiritual warfare, and probably she is right.  I have renewed my dislike for spiritual warfare, because it's stupid.  Why not want to go to something I have consistently enjoyed?  Stupid.

In another case of stupid (and a little hypocrisy), this afternoon's session was an Affirmation Service.  I didn't know what they meant until someone passed out a flyer about encouraging people.  I sat in my pew and saw that there were two chairs and a microphone at the front of the sanctuary.  Oh crap, I thought.  We're going to affirm people?  Publicly?  Like right now??  I wondered if I could somehow sneak past Lindsay without her realizing I was disappearing.

Some of you might remember that I talk about the importance of honesty in the church, and how integral I think community should be among believers.  Internet Me would say an affirmation service is the kickingest idea around, but Real Me is terrified of vulnerability and public speaking.  But unwilling to succumb to hypocrisy (in this instance), I stayed.

Mark got up and said, "I thought if I could get the shyest person to start us off, everyone would realize it was no big deal."  My panic restarted.  Did he know I was the shyest person in the congregation?  Was he going to call on me?

No.  He was making a funny, because Susan went up to start us off.  She told a little story, then said, "I'd like to ask Tricia McGarrah to come up here."  What the what?  Of course that would happen.  And let me say right now that it was wonderful and encouraging.  Having someone I respect tell my church family that she thinks I'm cool is pretty awesome.  But GUH.

When that was over, I sat in my seat, safe in obscurity.  But then I realized that being affirmed is incredibly easy, and basically all for me.  If I really believed that we needed to work on church unity and encouragement, then...didn't that mean I needed to work on church unity and encouragement?  Crap, I thought again, because I knew what I had to do. 

I grabbed Rose and took her to the front.  I sat beside her, because having someone affirm you from behind where you can't see them was awkward.  And also I didn't want to stand in front of people.  But I told her how I appreciated her relentless admonishment for me to be patient.  I think I've actually learned that lesson for now.

The rest of the affirmation service went awesomely.  There was some awkward pauses, because everyone was so unused to the idea.  But I learned about some people's service that I never knew, and I saw the love that has been created between some really unexpected church members, which was entirely cool.  I hope we can make this a semi-regular thing, because despite my panic attacks, I really think that public affirmation is a valuable thing for the church to support and make time for.