I Stop Being Sad and be Awesome Instead

I am naturally a useless coward. When Roy users to have friends over, I would lock myself in my room for hours on end to avoid facial recognition or verbal contact. When I found out a high school or college class would necessitate more participation or oral reports than I was comfortable with (i.e. any at all), I would promptly head to my advisor's office to drop it and add a less stressful class in its place.

So today when Gany said she felt bad, so could we wait to go visit the orphanage kids in the countryside tomorrow, I agreed, though dreaded the long hours of safety in my elephant-wallpapered room. Until Anya asked for my rent payment so her mom could buy food, and I told her I didn't have enough. She had to go to work, and not knowing the extent of my cowardice, calmly asked if I could run to the bank. "Um? The bank? Like the ATM at the Chinngis Hotel?"

"Actually, there's another one you could use. Past the wrestling palace, you go east, and to the north--"

"Wait. Stop. That is not helpful."

After she carefully explained how to get to the TDB Bank, both verbally and theatrically, I left the apartment, armed with her mom's phone set to call Anya. I wandered the streets without names or signs, turning left and right and keeping a mental picture list ("remember to go through the playground, and turn at the green fence. Digital Photo Shop, remember the Digital Photo Shop"). I reached wrestling palace and crossed the busy street. If there's one thing I am proud of, it's my ability to cross busy streets with confidence.

And there is was! The TBD Bank! Unfortunately, after standing in line for a teller, I found out they only exchange tugrugs for dollars, and you can't withdraw dollars from your card. Off to the Chinngis Khan Hotel after all, which I totally knew how to get to by myself. I withdrew the necessary money, then stepped outside to survey my new kingdom. I breathed in the slightly dirty UB air and set off for the apartment with an adolescent boy swagger. I wanted to grab people by the shoulders and shout in their confused faces, "I am walking by myself! I am finding places! I am so independent! Do you see the awesomeness seeping out of my every pore? I am full of awesome!"

But I didn't. I figured that my tarnish my victory.

I gave the money to Anya's mom, then turned around to face the city once more, this time for a celebratory iced mocha at the UBean, and for the opportunity to brag on myself in my blog. I am awesome in the lamest ways.