Tattoos

I have sort of wanted to get a tattoo for several years now.  And for some reason, this desire has been more pressing lately.  I mean, not pressing like I have to do it or I'll die.  But I want it more.

I mentioned this at the Monahan's last night, and there was wide-spread confusion.  Abby asked me not to make any decisions rashly.  Oh, Abby.  I rarely make decisions rashly (says the girl who decided to move to Texas three days into her first visit to Texas).  But for real, I don't.  I think and think and think about something, and then all of a sudden, I choose.  So it looks abrupt from the outside, but in actuality, I mostly operate on "let me think for five months, and I'll get back to you."

Anyway.  Tattoos.  I've long heard about Leviticus 19:28's message not to cut the dead or put marks upon yourself.  I used to be the sort of person who would tell people considering tattoos that the Bible explicitly forbid it, and I would say that with a condescending smirk. 

Ever since taking my Bible Study class, I've learned the importance of context.  And it makes sense to me that this particular law might be contextual.  Because I don't want to rush into any permanent decisions without making sure I have an opinion on this matter, I've been looking up stuff about Christian outlooks on tattoos.  So far the websites I've seen condemning tattoos were surprisingly over-the-top judgemental, and the website I found allowing tattoos talked about God telling his people to avoid anything that smelt of paganism.  Pagan neighbors mark themselves up?  Don't do it.  Stand apart. 

Taken from ancient context into present day, the logical question is:  does having a tattoo look like paganism?  Will having a tattoo make someone assume I do not follow Jesus?

And....I don't think so?  Mileage may vary, but I don't think tattoos are associated with the occult or anything.

So I've come to the decision that getting a tattoo is okay.  But why would I want one?

I like the idea of permanence.  I'd like to believe that I will always love and serve God, but honestly I have no idea what will happen in my life and how I will react to it.  I like the idea that there will be a mark on my body that could remind me of God, even when I don't want it to.  I love Proverbs 3:3, "Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart."  I know that the verse is metaphorical, but I love the idea of some physical reminder of my devotion to God (like ancient Jews would wear tassels or bind Scripture to their forehead).

I want to be reminded that I serve God even when I don't want to serve God.

For a long time I wanted to get a name of God tattooed in Hebrew or Greek.  But then that felt weird, like I was branding myself God.  I thought of a word like "humility" or something, but I didn't want to label myself with something that might not hold as much weight in 20 or 30 years.

So lately I've been thinking of getting something to symbolize the Trinity.  I want to be reminded of all three aspects of God.  I want to be reminded of God himself, always with me.  I found out about the Triquetra, and I really love it.  It's beautiful.  It's symbolic.  It's got roots in history.

 

I dunno.  I like the idea of having this on my wrist.  Somewhere I could cover it with sleeves or a big bracelet if I end up working overseas in a country that frowns on tattoos.  I don't think I'll get it any time soon, if I do decide to get it at all.

So my question is: what are your thoughts?  Do you think tattooing is always wrong?  Do you think there are benefits to tattooing?  Do you not care at all?

I don't want to make this decision in isolation.  That's what Christian community is for, right?

Embarrassment

I told Wendy about my high school blog that is now a book (lulu.com).  I added that reading it was cracking me up, because the very first entry is, "I WANT A HUSBAND" and the second is, "I WANT BABIES."  This is when I was a junior in high school, before I took sociology classes and before a friend described childbirth in excruciating detail.

Wendy looked at me with sad eyes and asked, "Was it embarrassing?"

"Oh my gosh, yes!"  I answered emphatically.

"I always wondered why you wrote stuff like that.  I felt bad for you."

"Wait, what?  I'm not embarrassed that I wrote it.  I'm embarrassed that I was like that."

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about!  We all have thoughts like that at some time or another."

"So we agree that it is embarrassing, but for totally different reasons?"

The thing is, I have a much wider scope of things that are acceptable to share.  While I still hide parts of my brain from my blog (and I did then, too, which is even more disturbing), I'm mostly in favor of being ridiculously, hilariously honest.  I think relationships and community at large would be better, or at least more entertaining, if we all shared our insecurities, desires, and weird thoughts.

The main topic I avoid on blogs are negative thoughts about specific people.  I once wrote a blog complaining about my friends, and they called me out on it, and I learned my lesson.  Airing complaints online is the worst thing ever.  But myself?  Open book.  Mostly.

Doctor Who S1E13 "The Parting of the Ways"

This is an EXCELLENT finale.  Simple plot, deaths, regenerations, ultimate cosmic power (but without the evilness of Jafar).

The question for the Doctor this episode is put to him by the Dalek Emperor:  Coward or Killer?  Have I mentioned how much I love moral quandaries?  Should he kill a planet of humans in the process of forever wiping out the Daleks?  Or should he allow them to live just long enough to be killed by and experimentally used to create more Daleks?

Not a choice I'd like to make, but I love seeing the Doctor wrestle with it.

Oh, and also?  I'd forgotten how creepy it is, the new race of Daleks being spawned from one survivor of the Time War who kidnapped human refugees and unwanteds to tear apart and create a new race of Daleks.  *shiver*  Does that mean all the Daleks in New Who are technically human/Dalek hybrids?  Even though they say the idea is blasphemous  (therefore showing their humanity).

Luckily, we get Deux Ex Rose!  AND I LOVE IT.

Okay, so the scene where the Doctor tricks Rose into entering the TARDIS, then runs out and sends her back to Earth on a one-way ticket?  All the emotions.  I get why he did it, and this is one of the things I love about the Doctor that other people seem to hate.  Yes, he takes away human agency.  But in the narrative, that's not construed as a good thing!  Rose's agency rises to the occasion, but I'm talking about the Doctor here.  I love that he is flawed and selfish, that he thinks he can control other people's deaths and lives.  It makes him very interesting.  Of course, in this instance, Rose fights back....later, Donna won't be so lucky.

And let's mention Jack here, yeah?  Poor Jack.  The Doctor sends Rose to safety, then is like, "Okay, go die by the Dalek's hands, Jack!"  Jack knows it, knows he's second best, and he trusts the Doctor anyway.  But later the TARDIS leaves without him, and he's all alone!  My poor baby!  Left to start your own TV show.  But I love his unconditional love and trust.  Because after all of that, and the Doctor will continue to shun him and ignore him, Jack runs after him and joins in the fight and adventure.



Now Rose.  Oh, Rose!  I over-empathize with you, I know.  You were a girl living an ordinary monotonous life, and then the Doctor came and you had adventures and were a hero and you helped people.  Then in a moment of selfish sacrifice, the Doctor condemns you back to a life of monotony.  And what do you say?  The best speech ever, natch.

"But it was... it was a better life. And I -- I don't mean all the traveling and... seeing aliens and spaceships and things -- that don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life. You know, he showed you too. That you don't just give up. You don't just let things happen. You make a stand. You say no. You have the guts to do what's right when everyone else just runs away, and I just can't --"

 Then like the boss she is, she tears apart the TARDIS, stares into its heart, returns to the Doctor 200,000 years in the future, and turns the Daleks to dust.  BAMF.

Everything comes with a price, though, and Time Lord knowledge is not meant to be in human's heads.  Although how wonderful, for one moment, that Rose understands the turmoil and information overload that constantly flows through the Doctor's mind.  In that understanding, Nine utters the cheesiest, most wonderful line, "You need a Doctor," and kisses her.  He takes the Time Vortex into himself, thereby starting the regeneration process.

Ten is my favorite Doctor.  He's emotional, funny, and gosh darn cute.  But it's true what they say on tumblr: you never forget your first Doctor.  And now, at the parting of the ways, I am very sad to see Nine go.  His snark, his rage, his goofy grin--I love Nine.  I'm so glad Netflix is basically a TARDIS and I can go back in time and rewatch his season as many times as I want.

Doctor Who S2E03 "School Reunion"

Evil Giles!  There are a lot of great things about this episode, but Evil Giles is probably the best.  Of course, that might only apply if you are a huge Buffy nerd.  The man who stuttered and compulsively wiped his glasses clean now eats school children and is menacingly dressed in a sharp suit and slicked back hair. 

I like the mythology of Evil Giles' alien race--the Krillitane are evolution personified.  Whenever they take over another species, they (somehow) merge the two life forms into a newer, stronger, better being.  They constantly change the way they look.  The fact that their most evolved form is Evil Giles is....perfect.

But that's not all of the awesome!  We are also introduced (re-introduced, if you are a Classic Who fan) to Sarah Jane and the Doctor's only robotic dog K-9!  And they are awesome!  Whenever I get around to watching some Classic Who, I think I'll start when Sarah Jane was in the show.

The return of a past companion begins the season-long exploration of the Doctor/companion relationship.  Namely, it sucks.  Okay, so the real message is that traveling with the Doctor is worth all the danger and heartache.  But there are an awful lot of possibilities for this whole thing to go pear-shaped.

We now know that the Doctor is safe from danger.  When he dies, he regenerates.  It can be sad, but ultimately, he is the same man.  (Side note from the future:  this is why I don't find Moffat's season arcs compelling.  In both seasons 5 and 6, he put the Doctor's life at risk.  But since we know he cannot die, I have no emotional stake in the plot.  On the contrary, RTD most frequently puts someone else in danger come finale time, and I legitimately worry for their safety.)

Okay, anyway.  We know the Doctor will stick around, but we also know he is 900 years old.  In "School Hard" we learn that he has had many companions before Rose entered his life.  Worse still, we learn that the way they part might not always be sunshine and daisies.  He left Sarah Jane and never came back!  That is awful.  The Doctor is a selfish bastard, redux.  To spare himself the pain of saying goodbye, he just dropped a dear friend by the wayside with no warning or explanation.

It's a testament to how awesome he is that Sarah Jane forgives him.  And that is a testament to Sarah Jane as well, I suppose.

This new facet of the Doctor/companion relationship is mostly seen from Rose's perspective in this episode.  At first she is jealous of Sarah Jane, and likewise, Sarah Jane is jealous of Rose.  But they quickly realize that they have more in common with each other than with the Doctor, and the scene in which they are mocking him ("I'm like, do you two need some time alone?") is the best!  His face when he realizes they are no longer fighting over him but are ganging up on him....oh, Time Lord.  You're not the studly stud you think are.

This is one of my favorite things about RTD--the way he writes women.  It would be so easy to maintain the jealousy, and get laughs solely from that.  But lets be honest, that's incredibly stereotypical and demeaning of women.  Instead of dwelling in the land of pettiness, he writes these two strong female leads as...two strong female leads!  They are secure enough in their individual relationships with the Doctor that they don't have to put each other down.  So nice to see that.

So even though the Doctor assures Rose that he won't leave her like he did the others, that he won't forget her or never talk about her--Rose now knows that there is more to her Doctor than previously understood.  And we the viewers are now on watch.  Doctor/Rose can't end happily.  So what version of horrible will they endure?

(The shipper in me feels compelled to point out that even though they do end up separated, the Doctor keeps his word.  He consistently brings up Rose after she is gone, letting future companions know about her.  In fact, his habit of comparing companions to Rose is what really drags season 3 and breaks Martha's heart.  He loved Rose.  He mourned her when he was gone in a way we are led to believe had never happened before.)

I Wrote a Book! Kind Of

I found the best website in the world! Lulu.com is a site for would-be writers. I think the endgame is for people who want to publish actual books, but you can upload any PDF file you want (between 80 and 780 pages) and get it printed! In either paperback or hardback! And you design your own cover, and it's a real book! Needless to say, I am going to print all my blogs and put them on my shelf and not let anyone read them because my thoughts used to be really embarrassing. Used to? Whatever. Because I write a lot a lot, I had to print sections of my blog at a time. First up--high school! I started writing in xanga my junior year, so I printed from February 2005-August 2006. I waited to see if it would turn out as awesome as I wanted before ordering more. I got it today! And it IS awesome! It was only $12, so next time I might spring for hardback. I know many of you are writers in some form or another. If you have any desire to own a pretty physical copy of them, try it out!

Preparing for Turkey

Two weeks from today I will be in Turkey!  I can't wait to see one of my very dearest friends, to hang out with her, to re-experience the awesomeness of Istanbul, to bring her gifts, to take pictures and videos, and see what she's doing in her new overseas life.

I asked people from church to fill in some of Stephanie's needs, and....they did.  Quite well.  Now I have boxes of things to take in my suitcase (one suitcase! KLM only allows one suitcase!  what?) and I've hit that wall.  The one where instead of just doing something, you avoid it because it looks hard.

Which is rubbish, because I love packing!  I love finding nooks and crannies to shove things, and the feeling I get when I look at a suitcase crammed to the gills and clocking in at just under 50 lbs?  Well, it's pretty embarrassing how happy I am at that moment.

But looking ahead to future happiness rarely helps me start something that looks hard.  So I'll probably keep putting it off.

But I'm so grateful to everyone who donated their time and money in buying my friend things!  I'm so excited to see her face when I say, "This is for you.  And this!  And this and this and this!"

Maybe I can be Santa when I grow up.  That seems like a pretty awesome job.

More Reasons I Love My Cat

Last night when I walked out of my bathroom, I noticed Rory crouched behind my tall laundry basket.  We stood there, staring each other down, when suddenly he leapt as if to land on top of it.  Which, of course, is impossible because there's no top.  When he got high enough to realize that, he did a kind of twisty mid-air freakout, and successfully flung himself to the other side.  Right by my feet.  The whole thing happened super quickly, and he'd never done that before.  I shrieked in surprise and then devolved into hysterical laughter.

All I could imagine was Paris and Doyle in Gilmore Girls, surprise attacking each other with krav maga. 

By the time I went to bed, Rory was no where to be found.  I figured he'd curled up in the living room, so I settled into bed with my Dorothy Sayers book.  Several minutes later, a lump in the bed moved!  I jumped, then pressed on the lump to make it go away.  It was squishy!  I lifted my comforter, and somewhere around my knee level, two shining eyes stared back.  I covered him back up, and we went to sleep.

When I woke up, he was on top of the covers, curled against my back.  I flipped over and opened my eyes.  He immediately crouch-walked closer to my face and pawed at the covers until I brought a hand out to pet him.  Then he settled into a cat-trance and purred loudly in my ear as I drifted back to sleep.

Best cat ever.