Reading Tozer at Work

I started my illustrious career as Woodland's church secretary today. Actually, that sentence couldn't be more incorrect, because I've been church secretary before (one time for the whole month of August), and also because this time will only last one week.

Which is sad, because there are few jobs I love more than being church secretary. Um, maybe no other jobs? Because I love working with the men who lead our church--I've always loved spending extra time with Joel and Bill, but since the last time I worked, Mark has been hired into a new position, and I love Mark too! I also love all the Woodlanders who make their way in and out of the church throughout the day, and I love feeling like I can help them. I love when the day gets hectic and there are five things going on at once. I realized that I start talking to inanimate objects when this happens. (ex: "Seriously, copier? I'm coming! Oh, really, fax machine? You're going off now? Ack! Phone, stop ringing! I will get you! ....heh heh, I am like a superhero, but with office supplies! Oh crap, someone is coming...")

Anyway, today was super awesome, and I'm already dreading the end of this week.

During my lunch break I read some Tozer, and there was this huge passage that just blew my mind. So I thought I'd share. Stick with it. I promise it's awesome. Actually, it's awesome from the beginning, so it's not like it's a chore to keep reading.

But let us...simply observe the true Christian as he puts into practice the teachings of Christ and His apostles. Note the contradictions:

The Christian believes that in Christ he has died, yet he is more alive than before and he fully expects to live forever. He walks on earth while seated in heaven and though born on earth he finds that after his conversion he is not at home here. Like the nighthawk, which in the air is the essence of grace and beauty but on the ground is awkward and ugly, so the Christian appears at his best in the heavenly places but does not fit well into the ways of the very society into which he was born.

The Christian soon learns that if he would be victorious as a son of heaven among men on earth he must not follow the common pattern of mankind, but rather the contrary. That he may be safe he puts himself in jeopardy; he loses his life to save it and is in danger of losing it if he attempts to preserve it. He goes down to get up. If he refuses to go down he is already down, but when he starts down he is on his way up.

He is strongest when he is weakest and weakest when he is strong. Though poor he has the power to make others rich, but when he becomes rich his ability to enrich others vanishes. He has most after he has given most away and has least when he possesses most.

He may be and often is highest when he feels lowest and most sinless when he is most conscious of sin. He is wisest when he knows that he knows not and knows least when he has acquired the greatest amount of knowledge. He sometimes does most by doing nothing and goes furthest when standing still. In heaviness he manages to rejoice and keeps his heart glad even in sorrow.

The paradoxical character of the Christian is revealed constantly. For instance, he believes that he is saved now, nevertheless he expects to be saved later and looks forward joyfully to future salvation. He fears God but is not afraid of Him. In God's presence he feels overwhelmed and undone, yet there is nowhere he would rather be than in that presence. He knows that he has been cleansed from his sin, yet he is painfully conscious that in his flesh dwells no good thing.

He loves supremely One whom he has never seen, and though himself poor and lowly he talks familiarly with One who is King of all kings and Lord of all lords, and is aware of no incongruity in so doing. He feels that he is in his own right altogether less than nothing, yet he believes without question that he is the apple of God's eye and that for him the Eternal Son became flesh and died on the cross of shame.

He cheerfully expects before long to enter that bright world above, but he is in no hurry to leave this world and is quite willing to await the summons of his heavenly Father. And he is unable to understand why the critical unbeliever should condemn him for this; it all seems so natural and right in the circumstances that he sees nothing inconsistent about it.

The cross-carrying Christian, furthermore, is both a confirmed pessimist and an optimist the like of which is to be found nowhere else on earth.

When he looks at the cross he is a pessimist, for he knows that the same judgment that fell on the Lord of glory condemns in that one act all nature and all the world of men. He rejects every human hope out of Christ because he knows that man's noblest effort is only dust building on dust.

Yet he is calmly, restfully optimistic. If the cross condemns the world the resurrection of Christ guarantees the ultimate triumph of good throughout the universe. Through Christ all will be well at last and the Christian waits the consummation.

I am an Adult Child

I spoke at Gerald Steffy's church tonight, and I think it was my best yet. That was probably because the congregation was small and intimate, and it felt more like a discussion than a lecture. The people there are pretty awesome, and from the short time I spent with them, it was obvious they love Jesus and that He is working in really cool ways in their lives. I wish I were more vocal about my love for Jesus.

After that I went to the Wineinger's house, and going there is awesome because you inevitably come home looking like this:


Here are the things I did at their house:

1) Hurled axes at a bullseye.
2) Went joyriding in a muddy field in a crappy truck. Lindsay rocked it so hard that we stalled the truck twice.
3) Changed into the boys' dirty clothes and jumped around in mud puddles with Lindsay and Ashley. (best part EVER)
4) Cowered with Andrea when they busted out the fireworks and started throwing lit fuses around all willy nilly.
5) Soaked my feet in their hot tub.
6) Discussed all sorts of weird topics with the Princeville kids after everyone else had left. It made me want to take back all the high school crushes I've ever had, because boys are ridiculous! "I can't wait to go such-and-such, because there will be hot girls, and they will think I am hot, and blah blah blah." I hope I wasn't like that. Except I was. Thank goodness for maturity.

Kind of. After we jumped in puddles, Nathan smiled his Nathansmile and said, "You guys looked like little kids."

Seize the day!

Today was a wonderfully lazy Saturday. Only two things are worth noting. First, my poor baby puppy hurt herself being stupid, because she jerked her leg with her leash trying to chase after something or other. All day she's been hobbling along like a three-legged dog. It is both pathetic and hilarious. She is the adored member of our family, though, so all day we've been bending over backwards to show our love to her. I sat outside with her so she wouldn't be chained up alone. Mom brought her water bowl out to her, then set it a foot away, then brought it back to her mouth when she whimpered. Dad and I constantly praise her any time she gets up, moves, or shows that she is improving.

We love our dog, what can I say?

Second, I made yassa! I started at 2:30, cutting everything up and mixing the sauce as best I could. I found two wildly different recipes online, so I kind of mixed together what I thought sounded best and added some of the Jumbo cubes I brought. Here are pictures to document!

Cutting up the chicken breasts....I chose not to go with the whole chicken, since I have no idea how to do that.

Jumbo!

Lots and lots of onions.

Cooking.

It looks legit, except for the lack of a common bowl.

We ate at 7:00 (but two of those hours in between were free, because the chicken had to marinade in the sauce), and I have to say it was pretty.....okay. I added apple cider vinegar because one recipe said too, and it was a little overwhelming. But my parents liked it enough that I think they'll let me make it again, so bring on trial two!

Melengo

Back in December I signed up to sponsor a kid through Compassion. I chose Melengo from Tanzania, because he comes from a place that is hit pretty bad with AIDs and because he'd been unwanted for over six months. I love me some underdogs, I guess.

Anyway, it's a good thing Compassion sets up funding so the money is automatically taken from my bank account every month, because I have been a horrible sponsor. I have not written to Melengo, and I really haven't prayed for him. I mean, financial support is great and all, but I'm pretty disappointed with myself.

Especially because Melengo is awesome! He has written me three letters, translated by someone else, and with little drawings at the bottom of the page. In the last letter, that I got today, he asked me to pray for his little sister, who is sick.

That's what really made me aware of my failure, so I promptly wrote him a letter and printed off pictures to send him. I really want to make praying for him a priority, and who knows, maybe someday I can visit him! I mean, traveling is kind of my thing.

So if you read this, I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop for a moment and say a prayer for Melengo and his sick little sister.

i am a crazy celebrity stalker

I wasn't going to write today, because even though I had a surprisingly excellent time with my dad's family, and we visited my grandpa in the nursing home and it was actually very sweet...well, I just feel like the things that happened today are heart memories, not blog memories. I don't know how to write about them adequately.

But then something very important happened that completely and obviously warranted a blog entry.

I checked NPH's twitter, because yes, I'm a stalker like that, and he linked a picture of him with a birthday present. He just turned 37, because yes, I'm a stalker like that, and also Jennie told me. Anyway, in this picture, he was wearing a v-neck t-shirt under a grandpa sweater, and I grabbed my heart (almost literally) and cooed.

I thought my love for him could not be greater, but I was wrong.

Oh, and also I noticed he says "check it" when he links to things, which is what I do when I post new dance videos! Did I steal that from him and not even know it, or are we soulmates?

readysetGO

Okay, God, get your matchmaking boots on, because I am ready to get married! I blame hanging out with awesome couples in Jackson. Jennie and Dusty are completely adorable, and I find their little family system refreshing and smart and full of dance moves. Erin and Tim are hilarious and considerate and determined to be non-materialistic. And while Ashley and Stephen are a new couple, I am already a fan of their no-nonsense "I love you and want to marry you" mentality.

Also, Jason got my brain cogs turning when he said I would marry someone and be a career missionary, and possibly I would meet someone while I was overseas. Which would be smashing! I'm currently rooting for this British guy on youtube, who reads Twilight and mocks it for the internet. But possibly God will choose someone different for me.

Anyway, I've been thinking about my ideal future, and it looks like this:

1) Go overseas in some missional capacity.
2) Meet a guy who wants to devote his life to overseas mission work, who is anti-materialistic, and who is laid back but way better at everything than me.
3) I will adopt adorable children from many locations!
4) I will maybe have my own children, but I am blocking that possibility from my mind because the ickiness terrifies me.
5) We will be a big family of awesome that doesn't live in the US, because if I'm going to have a big family, I very much don't want my children to be corrupted by the evil United States. I slightly exaggerate my feelings. Slightly.
6) Ummmm, and then at some point I die, after I live a full life serving God.

So there it is, my future with a boy and some gendered children. We'll see how long this desire lasts. I suppose I could always journey on down to Jackson whenever I need to be reminded that marriage is not horrible and dream-crushing.

Hmmm, I realize that is extremely insulting to the married couples I know and love in Peoria. Apologies. I am mostly referencing young couples, because I am disenchanted by most young couples I know. Excepting Lindsay and Nathan of Peoria fame! They are definitely included in my "gives me hope" relationship category.

Done.

Safety Dance

I figured the best way to document my awesome time in Jackson with my awesome friends was...by dance video!

In this video: Tricia McGarrah,
Jennie Hughes, Dusty Hughes, Hannah Hughes, Seth Hughes,
Whitney Jones, Ashley Mott,
Erin Palm, and Tim Messer,
with a special guest appearance by Stephanie Kesner.