Friends and Presents

I have to keep a journal for practicum, so sometimes I forget that this blog exists.  And also I sometimes think about not blogging, because someone who craves intimacy but also runs away from it?  That person can find an easy out in blogging, and I'm not sure I want an easy out.

But I do want to give an emotional update, because this latest bout of introspective sadness is mostly over, I think.  And how?  My word, through intimacy, who knew.  (My therapist knew.)  I've found friends with whom I can be honest, and who even value my honesty, of all things!  Learning to let my frustrations and sadnesses and desires exist without constantly pushing them down, down, down has been so freeing!  So that's very lovely.

But also I feel better because of gifts.  Today Ketan kept giving away what he wants to buy me for Christmas, despite our NUMEROUS talks about how I love surprises and would he please shut up? 

Ketan:  I know what I'm going to get you!
Me:  Good.  I don't want to know.
Ketan:  But should I get you one?  Or two, three, four, five, six, and seven?
Me:  KETAN!  Now I know!
Ketan:  No you don't.  What is it?
Me:  The new Harry Potter books with the awesome covers.
Ketan:  Oh.  Yeah.

Ketan:  I'm going to get you TOMs for Christmas.
Me:  Well, now you can't, because you've told me.
Ketan:  What color would you want?  Oh, green, right?
Me:  Yeah.
Ketan:  They don't have green.  What about red?  Or black?
Me:  Sure.  But Ketan, TOMs are expensive.  They're like, $45.
Ketan:  That's not expensive.

Ugh, it's going to be pleasantly mortifying if the kids I nanny spend more on me for Christmas than I spend on them.

But also!  I hung out with Libby and Mike Stroh last night.  I've been so blessed to have a Married Couple as friends in each city I've lived in.  I can be extremely cynical about marriage, and I think God has put people like Lindsay and Nathan, Jennie and Dusty, and Libby and Mike in my life to remind me that marriage can also be silly and warm and encouraging.  Hm.  That is a whole separate thought to be dissected.

The Great Ice Weekend pushed even my introverted limits, so when I asked if I could hang out at their house and we three could play Risk and they said yes, I happily crashed and ate their desserts and bared my soul about all sorts of things they are gracious enough to ask about.

Mike has started watching Doctor Who, which is the happy result of a month of wheedling on my part.

Libby:  You started without me!
Mike:  You...wouldn't like it yet.
Me:  Yeah, the first few episodes are kind of...awful.  Silly and awful.
Mike:  In the first episode, a garbage can eats a person and then burps.  It's that kind of show.

Mike and I giggle at the memory.  Libby grins and rolls her eyes.

Libby:  I'm so glad there are at least the two of you in the world to like that sort of stuff.

And we played Risk!  I've wanted to play it for FOREVER, but no one acknowledged my subtle hints.  Finally, success!  Except I lost, only it was fine because Libby and Mike are so fun to play with.  AND THEN they gave me a present!  Key to my heart, all the time, every time.  A Jack Handey book, because they know my twisted sense of humor!  AND a book of Mike's short stories, with a handwritten front page saying that some of them are changed for the better because of my editing!  Imma frame that and make people look at it once he's a famous author.

The moral of this blog post is:  When sad, give me friends and presents.  The end.